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		<title>Dharma by text&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2009/07/02/dharma-by-text/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2009/07/02/dharma-by-text/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:18:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=84</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Garret Hermitage, Bristol, Thursday 2 July 2009, 7.20 am
I sent the following text to Sangha friends in my phone address book:
“Dear Friends,  this is a bit mad, but I’m having a day of playing creatively with the struggle of life and had the idea of texting all the Sangha friends in my phone [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The Garret Hermitage, Bristol, Thursday 2 July 2009, 7.20 am</p>
<p>I sent the following text to Sangha friends in my phone address book:</p>
<p>“Dear Friends,  this is a bit mad, but I’m having a day of playing creatively with the struggle of life and had the idea of texting all the Sangha friends in my phone to see what yr current favourite pith Dharma teaching is?  I think mine is “I do not have, I do not understand, I do not know.” Love, Satyalila</p>
<p>And they replied:</p>
<p>“’How can the precepts of the Buddha ever deceive?’ (Life and Lib) and ‘The most important thing for a spiritual practitioner is to guard the sources of inspiration.’ (Dhammarati)<br />
							From V in London (7.35 am)</p>
<p>“Today I am struggling to keep metta at the heart of my relationship with my daughter.”<br />
							From S in Bristol (7.41 am)</p>
<p>“Blimey, bit random for 7.30 in the morning; good for you.  Mine is ‘holding to nothing whatever.’”<br />
							From T in Bristol (7.45 am)</p>
<p>“Ditto! But also “Ascend with the conduct Descent with the view.” Thank you for making me smile.  Metta.”<br />
							From P in Bristol (7.47 am)</p>
<p>“Dearest Satyalila thank you for your question.  How about this. ‘My barn having burned to the ground I can now see the moon.’  This hits the spot this morning. Xxx”</p>
<p>							From V in Cambridge (7.51 am)</p>
<p>“I love Stephen Batchelor’s teaching 2 live life as question using the Korean zen koan or phrase ‘what is this?’ xx<br />
							From S in Bristol (7.53 am)</p>
<p>“Buddha is a shitty stick” – Ummon.<br />
							From S in Somerset (7.58 am)</p>
<p>“I’ve been reflecting on the nature of mind and that the true nature of mind &#038; reality are the same. x “<br />
							From C in Bristol (8.08 am)</p>
<p>“Mine’s ‘with mindfulness strive on!’<br />
							From P in Bristol (8.10 am)</p>
<p>“Animosity does not still animosity, only by loving-kindness are the seeds of hatred eradicated.  This law is ancient and eternal. Love”<br />
							From J in Bristol (8.14 am)</p>
<p>“Hiya.  All the best with that.  I’m on move to Newcastle today!  Exciting and nervous.  Not sure what my fav pith teaching is right now but where would be b without friendship. X “<br />
							From S in transit (10.17 am)</p>
<p>“’Call forth as much as you can of love of respect and of faith.’  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think this.”<br />
							From V in London (10.18 am)</p>
<p> “Dhammasena says ‘The holy life is not practiced to get out of difficulties in controversy nor that one be known as such and such by others.  It is practiced for the controlling of body and speech, the cleansing of corruptions; the detachment from and the cessation of craving.’ Anguttara Nikaya.  Phew.”</p>
<p>							From V in London (10.18 am)</p>
<p>“In the seen, only the seen.”<br />
							From K in Bristol (10.18 am)</p>
<p>“’Even monkeys fall out of trees’ – a Japanese proverb.”</p>
<p>							From S in Wales (10.18 am)</p>
<p>“It is the thought that thinks, there is no thinker behind the thought. Love..”</p>
<p>							From M in Bristol (10.19 am)</p>
<p>“Only love dispels hatred. X”<br />
							From S in Bristol (10.20 am)</p>
<p>&#8220;Not sure I have a pith teaching – yours comes close 2 part of it, another might be ‘all beings are from very beginning Buddhas!’”<br />
							From D in Croydon (10.21 am)</p>
<p>“Three images: wheel, spiral, Buddha.  Hope that helps,”</p>
<p>							From J in Bristol (10.22 am)</p>
<p>“Hatred does not cease through hatred, hatred ceases through love.  This law is eternal.  “<br />
							From P in Bristol (10.22 am)</p>
<p>“Mine is ‘I am free when I am within myself’ – not strictly Dharma, it’s Hegel but so relevant to being mindful.”<br />
							From C in Bristol (10.22 am)</p>
<p>“No, that’s not mad, should happen more often!  Erm, it’s ‘Poor Tu Fu, must be the poetry…’ X “<br />
							From R in Scotland (10.22 am)</p>
<p>“Whatever grounds there are for making merit…  All these do not equal a sixteenth part of the liberation of mind that is loving kindness.X”</p>
<p>							From K in Bristol (10.23 am)</p>
<p>“Naturally mine is, ‘In the seen, only the seen. Etc’ “</p>
<p>							From B in Spain (10.23 am)</p>
<p>“Hello Satyalila.  ‘Don’t live in the past or long for the future.  What’s past is gone and the future’s not here.  Look into just this truth of what is dependently arisen.  Knowing it practice it steadfast unshaken.’ Love “</p>
<p>							From D in Cambridge (10.24 am)</p>
<p>“If Dharma means – The Way to Liberation.  Here’s something Larry said @ Dhanakosa: ‘Enlightenment is not perfection – many calls to adventure, none are perfect!’ X “<br />
							From M in Bristol (10.24 am)</p>
<p>“Hi Satyalila, bit difficult to choose but I think it may be something to do with renunciation…. Maybe the other key teaching for me is from Pema Chodron that where the most painful bits are is where the Bodhicitta lies too, yep, that’s the one, bit relevant right now as it always is….”<br />
						From L in the French Alps (10.24 am)</p>
<p>“’All is aflame’ xxx”<br />
							From L in Bristol (10.25 am)</p>
<p>“I appreciate the spontaneity!  One comes to mind ‘Everything’s going for refuge’ xx”</p>
<p>							From R in Bristol (10.30 am)</p>
<p>“’Good though passive forbearance may be, the patience we are looking to develop is not a stolid indifference but a dynamic force, powered by loving kindness.’ Vessantara”<br />
							From K in Newcastle (10.47 am)</p>
<p>“I keep in mind 2 favourite poems that might not be strictly dharmic. ‘The human body at peace with itself is more precious than the rarest gem, it is yours this one time only’ and Rumi’s Guest House ‘greet them all at the door laughing’ about one’s moods.  And I loved a talk given by Ram Dass where he spoke of how awareness helps you to clean up your act.”<br />
							From J in Bristol (11.15 am)</p>
<p>“Letting go… all is impermanent.”<br />
							From M in Bristol (11.16 am)</p>
<p>“’Form is only emptiness, emptiness only form.’x”<br />
							From D in Saltford (11.24 am)</p>
<p>“How do we know what we do is the Dharma?  Because is always has the same taste: Freedom.”<br />
							From A in Leicester (11.25 am)</p>
<p>“Mine is ‘Don’t try to fix Samsara’ ”</p>
<p>							From S in Bristol (11.33 am)</p>
<p>“Hi Hun, Sounds interesting.  I have two at the moment my current practices.  ‘I’m okay I just need to deal with what comes up’ and ‘Can I relax around this, whatever this is at the time!’ love…”<br />
							From I in Devon (11.38 am)</p>
<p>“That’s a lovely thing to do, Satyalila.  I am currently trying more to be a ‘being’ rather than my habitual kind of ‘doing’ kind of person.  Go well, and with joy.”</p>
<p>							From K in Bristol (11.45 am)</p>
<p>“When I think about communicating the Dharma the four right efforts always come to mind.”</p>
<p>							From R in Bristol (11.45 am)</p>
<p>“Hi Lovely x  Favourite Dharma thing at moment is Bhante saying we need to find middle way between individualism and authoritarianism.  I see this can be applied to current stuff around his recent letter.x”<br />
						From V on train from Clacton (11.54 am)</p>
<p>“Awakening is not far away, it is nearer than near.”</p>
<p>							From K in Bristol (12.46 pm)</p>
<p>“Blue sky.”</p>
<p>							From P in Bristol (2.01 pm)</p>
<p>“Nothing is certain.”<br />
							From S in Bristol (2.04 pm)</p>
<p>“Hmm – tricky – quite into Bhante’s ‘the activity of emptiness is compassion’ at the mo…’”<br />
							From D in Somerset (2.14 pm)</p>
<p>“’Those who do not live in the single Way fail in both activity and passivity.’ Xx”<br />
							From K in Penzance (3.19 pm)</p>
<p>“Hi me dear! I tink mine would be: ‘let present experience be your teabag.’ Sorry.  I meant teacher. (If that doesn’t sound too pompous.).  Much love…”</p>
<p>							From A in Bristol (5.19 pm)</p>
<p>“Something I just came across, from private preceptors retreat: ‘great need for dialogue in conflict situations… Take the initiative and initiate without polarizing.’”</p>
<p>							From A in Bristol (5.33 pm)</p>
<p>“By living in company with the spiritually immature one grieves for a long time.”</p>
<p>							From J in Bristol (5.45 pm)</p>
<p>“Ooh you got me thinking… on the training reading about embodiment…..’look, feel, let life live through you.’ Hokusai.”<br />
							From A in Bristol, 2 July</p>
<p>“Hi Satyalila.  Thank you for adding some Dharma magic to my morning!  I’ve been thinking what teaching appeals to me at the moment – probably something like seeing my difficulties as my practice.  Difficult people as precious jewels!”</p>
<p>							From B in Bristol, 2 July</p>
<p>“Hello u.  I have absolutely no idea BUT your one grabbed me so if you don’t mind I’ll hang on to the tail of that one for a while.”<br />
							From P in Bristol, 2 July</p>
<p>“Hi Satyalila.  Lovely idea and a nice text to start me day this morning   Hope you got some interesting and inspiring replies.  No exactly a specific teaching but just the act of noticing the thoughts that lead me to disconnection from people and the practice of letting them go is a strong and inspiring practice for me at the mo.”</p>
<p>							From S in Bristol, 2 July</p>
<p>“I notice that I often don’t want to be with my experience.  So I’ve been dropping in the question ‘Do I want to be here?’ every now and then. (Interesting to be with resistance and also discover potential for contentment in every moment even uncomfortable ones).”<br />
							From P in Sussex, 3 July</p>
<p>“ Fav pith teaching from Canto 37(?) {103?} of L &#038; L of P, probably misquoted ‘Again and yet again lay bare that which gets in the way of meditation.’</p>
<p>							From K in Bristol, 3 July</p>
<p>“Hello, you! ‘Abandon all hope of fruition.’ Lojong.  Happy Dharma Day… and Bristol Festival.”<br />
							From S in Norwich, 3 July</p>
<p>“’The firm earth patiently bearing the weight of both good and bad..’  But my most helpful is yours!”<br />
							From N in Bristol, 3 July</p>
<p>“’There is in fact only one need of one’s own that has to be fulfilled before one can preoccupy oneself effectively with the needs of others, and it is not a physical or material need, but simply a matter of emotional positivity and security.  We need to appreciate our own worth and feel that it is appreciated by others, to love ourselves and feel that we are loved by others.’  This is the Bhante quote for you if you want to add it to your website, which if I may say is great, having all those quotes on it.  Well done!”<br />
							From S in Bristol, 6 July </p>
<p>“Virtue and kindness may be unfashionable, practice them anyway.  The path to enlightenment may be far and difficult, start walking towards it anyway.  Human beings are selfish and self-centred, love them anyway.  People are often ungrateful, help them anyway.  Society may be bigoted and ignorant, educate them anyway.” </p>
<p>							From S in Bristol, 6 July</p>
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		<title>The Way It Is, or &#8220;Life with Full Attention&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2009/07/02/the-way-it-is-or-life-with-full-attention/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2009/07/02/the-way-it-is-or-life-with-full-attention/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Jul 2009 13:52:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=80</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is the talk I wrote as an introduction for those taking part in the International Urban Retreat (www.theurbanretreat.org) at Bristol Buddhist Centre from Saturday 20-27 June 2009.
The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow.  It goes among
Things that change.  But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is the talk I wrote as an introduction for those taking part in the International Urban Retreat (<a href="http://www.theurbanretreat.org">www.theurbanretreat.org</a>) at Bristol Buddhist Centre from Saturday 20-27 June 2009.</p>
<p>The Way It Is</p>
<p>There’s a thread you follow.  It goes among<br />
Things that change.  But it doesn’t change.<br />
People wonder about what you are pursuing.<br />
You have to explain about the thread.<br />
But it is hard for others to see.<br />
While you hold it you can’t get lost.<br />
Tragedies happen: people get hurt<br />
Or die; and you suffer and get old.<br />
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.<br />
You don’t ever let go of the thread.</p>
<p>William Stafford.</p>
<p>Even before I knew there was such a thing as an Urban Retreat, I wanted to do one.  I wanted to live that way.  To live, being in touch with the real thread of my life…. The golden thread that I found when I first glimpsed the Dharma over 25 years ago now and which I want to follow for the rest of my life, no matter what.</p>
<p>This is “life with full attention”… a way of living that is really, truly alive, aware, kind.  </p>
<p>{This was why I spent six years working in a Wholefood Shop by a flyover in Croydon, but that &#8211; as they say &#8211; is another story…….}</p>
<p><strong>The Urban Retreat is about Following the thread…</strong></p>
<p>It’s not easy to follow this thread &#8211; a thread that we’ve all come into contact with, whether we’re aware of it or not… but it’s not difficult either.  We simple have to practise mindfulness, to come back again and again to what is important and to re-establish a heart connection with that again and again.  And our Urban Retreat is about exactly that &#8211; about saying “right, I’m going to take this week of my ordinary life and turn it into a retreat”… in a way it’s still ordinary, but in another way it’s extra-ordinary… and we could live like that all the time, if we chose, but it takes quite a bit of practice to do that… so it’s good to begin with a week, in company with other people here and across the world and just see what happens, if you really give yourself to your practice during this week.  To really explore and practice mindfulness and see what happens</p>
<p><strong><br />
It could be a turning point in your life…</strong></p>
<p>I was looking at the website of the other Centres who‘re running Urban Retreats the other night, and one of them was the Sheffield Buddhist Centre, which is where the idea of Urban Retreat in our movement first started.  I was struck by the fact that they said…</p>
<p>“This is for some a turning point in their lives.  You decide what you want to do to make the coming week a focus for practice while going about your usual routine.  Particularly for those who find it difficult to get away on retreat, and who want to make their everyday life a crucible for change.”</p>
<p>I loved that.  I love the idea that we can choose to make our everyday lives the context for the most extraordinary unfolding of our potential… if only we set up the conditions and stick with our intentions…</p>
<p><strong>We connect with the “thread” when we glimpse the Dharma…</strong></p>
<p>So, going back to the “thread” image…   When I say “we’ve all come into contact with this thread”, what I mean is that we’ve  had a glimpse of the Dharma which has affected not just our minds but our hearts as well and which has led us to some kind of action, to some kind of following…which has led us to do something &#8211; even if the something is simply chosing to come along to the Buddhist Centre for the first time and then to come back &#8211; like today, when we could have been shopping or mowing the lawn or tidying up our sock drawer….<br />
There are many ways of approaching and describing mindfulness and, as this talk is short, I’m just going to draw out two which are my favourites this morning:</p>
<p>The first is to do with aesthetic appreciation</p>
<p>The second is to do with continuity of purpose.</p>
<p>There are posh Buddhist words for both these two and I like that.  I like the fact that there is a root in the Buddhist tradition to which my threads of inspiration and practice connect.</p>
<p><strong><br />
Aesthetic Appreciation &#8211; seeing the “golden-ness of the thread”</strong></p>
<p>Aesthetic appreciation is something we can practice &#8211; noticing things and becoming aware of their intrinsic beauty…  There is a Sanskrit word, &#8211; vidya &#8211; which is sometimes translated as wisdom which has what I think of as a richer, more helpful translation, which is aesthetic appreciative understanding….  And the reason why this is relevant to us starting our Urban Retreat today is that aesthetic appreciation is something which is available right here, right now to us at ANY point… we simply need to remember that.  Look around at any moment and you can find something to appreciate… it might be the way the sunlight comes through the window, and falls on the shrine at a particular time of day, it could be appreciating the sensation of washing your hands with soap in warm water, it could be the sudden sound of a blackbird.  A few months ago I came out of my flat after meditating one morning and I was almost transfixed by the beauty of a pile of rusty old scaffolding on a truck outside our side gate….  All really ordinary things… things that are there around us all the time, tho’ we often don’t notice them.  And to some extent we’ve probably all realised that these moments of aesthetic appreciation happen more often when we’ve been meditating &#8211; and especially if we’ve been meditating on retreat….  The dandelions are brighter after a few days on retreat… I’m sure you can bring to mind a moment when you suddenly really saw and appreciated the beauty of something utterly ordinary.</p>
<p>The thread of aesthetic appreciation can lead to wisdom…</p>
<p>And it’s very important not to underestimate the importance of these little moments of aesthetic appreciation which are mindfulness.. They are a tiny blossoming of awareness, they are the end of the golden thread which leads to wisdom, to aesthetic appreciative understanding of the world….  The poet, William Stafford wrote about this in relation to the art of writing… and what he said is very relevant to the practice of mindfulness.  “He believed that whenever you set a detail down in language, it became the end of a thread… and every detail &#8211; the sound of the lawn mower, the memory of your father’s hands, a crack you once heard in lake ice, the jogger hurtling herself past your window &#8211; will lead to amazing riches.” [the poet Robert Bly, talking about Stafford and the golden thread]</p>
<p>The origin of Stafford’s thread image is back with the English poet, William Blake, who wrote the famous lines</p>
<p>I give you the end of a golden string,<br />
Only wind it into a ball,<br />
It will lead you in at Heaven’s gate<br />
Built in Jerusalem’s wall.</p>
<p>Now I know that talk of Heaven and Jerusalem makes it all sound very Christian and might put some people off, but the image of the golden thread also works brilliantly as a way of understanding how mindfulness can lead us to wisdom.</p>
<p>So I’ve talked about the importance of mindfulness in terms of aesthetic appreciation and how it’s something that comes from the utterly ordinary fabric of our every day existence.  I suppose, to extend the image, I’m talking about us catching a glimpse of the glimmer of gold and being drawn towards it, being drawn into being present for that moment when we really see and appreciate the rusty scaffolding in the truck….</p>
<p><strong>Continuity of Purpose &#8211; the “thread-ness of the thread”</strong></p>
<p>The second aspect of mindfulness which I wanted to talk about is what I described as “continuity of purpose” or recollection.  You could see this is as the “thread-ness” of the thread…  there’s the gold-ness of the thread and then there’s the thread-ness… the fact that it leads somewhere, if you choose to follow it.</p>
<p>Bhante Sangharakshita talks about “continuity of purpose” in his book on the Noble Eightfold Path and the posh Sanskrit word for this aspect of mindfulness is samprajanya..  which does literally translate as “mindfulness of purpose”  (and there’s another word for it, which is smrti or “recollection“).   And I love this passage where he describes the opposite of samprajanya: [Vision and Transformation, p 133]</p>
<p>“Suppose, then, that you are writing a letter, an urgent letter that is imperative should go off by the next post.  But as so often happens in modern life the telephone rings, and it is some friends of yours wanting a little chat.  Before you know where you are you are involved in quite a lengthy conversation.  You go on chatting maybe for half an our, and eventually, the conversation completed, you put down the phone.  You have talked about so many things with your friend that you have quite forgotten about the letter, and you have talked for such a long while that you suddenly feel quite thirsty.  So you wander into the kitchen and put the kettle on for a cup o tea.  Waiting for the kettle to boil you hear a pleasant sound coming through the wall from next door, and realizing it is the radio you think you might as well listen to it.  You therefore nip into the next room, switch on the radio, and start listening to the tune. F After that tune is finished there comes another, and you listen to that too.  In this way more time passes, and of course you’ve forgotten all about your boiling kettle.  Whilst you are in the midst of this daze, or trance-like state, there is a knock at the door.  A friend has called to see you.  Since you are glad to see him you make him welcome.  The two of you sit down together for a chat, and in due course you offer him a cup of tea.  You go into the kitchen and find it full of steam.  Then you remember that you had put the kettle on some time ago, and that makes you remember your letter.  But now it is too late.  You have missed the post.”</p>
<p>Bhante says that he uses this example of un-mindfulness because we’re more familiar with un-mindfulness than we are with mindfulness… and it’s easy to see the threads that didn’t get followed in this example!  This week is the opportunity to practise the opposite….</p>
<p>In his book “Know Your Mind” Bhante writes: “As a spiritual practice, recollection may be said to be about remembering what is really important, what life is really about and what one is really supposed to be doing. ‘Why am I here? What I am I doing this for?’  Recollection is often about waking up to the fact that one has strayed away from where one really wants to be.” (p108)</p>
<p>For myself, I know that I am happiest, most aware, most able to be present and to give of my best when I’m in touch with what’s most important to me, in terms of overall purpose, and at the same time when I‘m feeling very present, very “in my body“, aware of myself.  There’s an almost physical sensation of energy coming together at such times.  </p>
<p><strong><br />
Being Really Alive</strong></p>
<p>There’s a great talk on the Urban Retreat website by Maitreyabandhu from the London Buddhist Centre &#8211; he was one of my very first teachers when I first got involved in 1993.  His talk is called “Life with Full Attention” and he’s also written a book &#8211; we’ve got part of it as a free hand out for this retreat.  I’d really recommend this talk, it’s only about half and hour and he manages to say a lot in it, in a very engaging way which I think is both deep and witty. </p>
<p>The main point he makes at the beginning is that mindfulness is about LIVING, it’s about being REALLY ALIVE, alive in your experience, not letting it all just drift past and then you’re dead.  He says the whole of Buddhism is about moving from being less alive to being more alive, which I really loved.  I loved it because it spoke to me of those moments we’ve all had, which are there all the time if we can only remember to set up the conditions to become aware of them &#8211; to meditate, to slow down a bit, to remember to breathe, to become aware of our bodies, to let go of the millions of things which distract us from being present….</p>
<p>I’m always quoting this Mary Oliver poem, which I know is a favourite of Jvalamalini’s too, and I’m not going to to resist the opportunity to quote it again here (because, after all “non-repetition is the canker of the spiritual life”!)</p>
<p>When Death Comes</p>
<p>When death comes<br />
like the hungry bear in autumn;<br />
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse</p>
<p>to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;<br />
when death comes<br />
like the measle-pox;</p>
<p>when death comes<br />
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,</p>
<p>I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:<br />
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?</p>
<p>And therefore I look upon everything<br />
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,<br />
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,<br />
and I consider eternity as another possibility,</p>
<p>and I think of each life as a flower, as common<br />
as a field daisy, and as singular,</p>
<p>and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,<br />
tending, as all music does, toward silence,</p>
<p>and each body a lion of courage, and something<br />
precious to the earth.</p>
<p>When it’s over, I want to say: all my life<br />
I was a bride married to amazement.<br />
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.</p>
<p>When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder<br />
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.<br />
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,<br />
or full of argument.</p>
<p>I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.</p>
<p>Mary Oliver</p>
<p><strong>Conclusion</strong></p>
<p>And that brings me right back to why I feel so passionately about things like being on this Urban Retreat, because we can do it, right here, right now.  We can help ourselves and each other in very do-able, practical ways to become more and more alive and aware.  </p>
<p>We’ve got a whole week.</p>
<p>We’ve got a plan.</p>
<p>We’ve got each other </p>
<p>We’ve got a whole host of resources</p>
<p>All we need to do is to begin!</p>
<p>We’re going to have a 20-minute teabreak next, so you can make a start right there are and then… become aware of your body as you get up and moving about, noticing your breathing.  When you get your tea, see if you can really notice drinking it and enjoy it….</p>
<p>Then we’ll gather in the reception room for a practical workshop to start to identify what we can actually do to start to live “Life with full attention” &#8211; we can look at what prevents us being mindful, as well as what helps and hopefully, by the end of it, you’ll start to have to some ideas for specific things you might undertake to do (or NOT to do!) during the next week on retreat together….. </p>
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		<title>“The Thousands”, the Pareto Principle and Mary Oliver</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2008/11/27/%e2%80%9cthe-thousands%e2%80%9d-the-pareto-principle-and-mary-oliver/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2008/11/27/%e2%80%9cthe-thousands%e2%80%9d-the-pareto-principle-and-mary-oliver/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:12:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[                                    “Your work is to discover your work
             [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>                                    <em>“Your work is to discover your work<br />
                                               And then, with all your heart,<br />
                                                   To give yourself to it.”<br />
                                                     Dhammapada v 166<br />
                                                    Trans. Thomas Byrom<br />
</em></p>
<p>So I’m starting by cheating!  This talk is about Chapter 8 of the Dhammapada (verses 100 – 115) – “The Thousands”, but the verse I’ve chosen as the title of my talk is actually from Chapter 12 (“The Self”).  It’s the last verse of that Chapter and I’ve been very taken with it all this term, since I first came across it (which was actually on a postcard pinned to a notice-board in the studio of an artist friend of mine).  It feels like it sums part of the “why” I like the “Thousands”… but I’m not going to spell that out now, I’ll just leave it hanging as a question which will hopefully be answered by the time we get to the end.</p>
<p>I knew, as soon as we started to talk about having the Dhammapada as the theme for this term that this was the Chapter I’d like to explore.  It’s always been my favourite.  When I worked in the Wholefood Shop in Croydon, each morning we’d have a morning meeting, salute the shrine, read some Dharma… I remember often hearing this verse and every time feeling inspired by it.</p>
<p><strong>Why I like it</strong></p>
<p>So why do I like it.</p>
<p>First of all, I like it because it gives me hope.  I have spent a lot of the last 15 years that I’ve been practising fretting about all the time I waste, how I’m not “doing enough” and wishing to be more wholeheartedly engaged.  Why I feel that way says a lot about my conditioning and habits… and I won’t go into that now!</p>
<p>What this chapter says to me, to put it very simply, is “don’t focus on/fret about what you haven’t done, don’t spend time dwelling on time you’ve wasted… focus and make the most of the times when you are engaged, inspired, able to be wholehearted in your practice.”</p>
<p>Years before I became a Buddhist I had quite a fascination with time management and how our attitudes towards our time (and our energy!) are profoundly affected by how we think about them.  Back in about 1990 I was reading a book on time management by John Adair and I came across the “Pareto Principle”.  Simply put, it states that we get 80% of our “results” from 20% of our effort…  It was something studied in the workplace, looking, for example, at teams of Sales People – 20% of them would often bring in about 80% of the business.  And intuitively I could sense that this was probably also true in terms of my own time and energy – that actually a lot of what I’d achieved (eg in studying for my degree) was probably done in about 20% of my time!  In the past I’d always fretted about the 80% of time I’d “wasted”, but coming across the Pareto Principle (and later, the Dhammapada’s “Thousands”) I began to see that I could take a different attitude to that.</p>
<p>At this point I should mention that I’m a poet and not a mathematician, so it bothers me not one jot that the Pareto Principle compares 80% with 20% whilst the Dhammapada compares “one day” with “a thousand years”…. what interests me is the principle underneath – never mind about the “other” 80% of your time or the 99 years and 364 days… “Better” is the “single day” that “brings peace” – focus on that.   (I’ll unpack the meaning of  “better” in a bit, by the way.)</p>
<p>Meanwhile, there are two more reasons (both poetic) why I like the “thousands”  &#8211; when I was reflecting on and reading the verse at the weekend I realise that it reads a bit like a “list poem” – a fairly well-known form of modern poetry which Ananda and Manjusvara teach sometimes on their Wolf at the Door writing workshops (indeed, Ananda has a whole book about list poems)…. I’ve always liked lists (it’s one of the reasons I’m a Buddhist – that and tea-drinking…) and reflecting on why that might be I realised that, at least in part, it’s to do with the way that a list sounds quite like an incantation or almost a spell.  There’s something slightly mesmerising about the repetition… a bit like in music, Bach, say, when you get a gorgeous cycle of notes that repeats harmonically, but within that one bit changes and it evolves… well, a list poem is like that.  The “thousands” chapter is like that.</p>
<p>Mentioning the words “incantation and spell” makes me think of magic, I also wanted to say something about the (slightly) magical process of writing this talk.  I’ve been mulling over in my mind all term, but it’s only been this last weekend that I’ve sat down to look at it systematically…and when I did, it was a bit like pulling a rabbit out of a hat…. As I say, I’ve always loved and been fascinated by this chapter in a slightly woolly-poetic-intuitive way, without really ever delving very deeply or systematically into it.  When I did start to look more fully at these 15 short verses, lo!  I found that hidden in it (well, not that hidden, but I really hadn’t been looking that hard!) is the whole of the Noble Eightfold Path AND the Threefold Way!  </p>
<p>So, I’ve begun by telling you why I like the thousands.  Why my heart engages with it….what fascinates me about it.  I like it, I enjoy it… now I’ll say a bit about how I’ve gone on to engage with it for the purpose of writing this talk and to tell you about the rabbit I found inside, as well as the hat…..</p>
<p><strong>How I’ve approached this talk</strong></p>
<p>One of the things Bhante has always been very “hot” on is our use of language.  As you know, he’s made his own translation of the Dhammapada, the better to bring out the meaning of the words in the light of his own understanding of the Dharma.  In many, many of his talks he takes time to clarify exactly what is meant by a particular word – and it’s not just semantics.  If “our lives are the creation of our minds” the words we pick up can be like the tools we shape them with… and it’s good to be clear exactly what tools we’re using and how, and not use them indiscriminately.</p>
<p>So, the word that’s repeated again and again in this Chapter is “better”… I asked my friend, Dhivan (who’s a Pali scholar) what the actual word is that’s translated as “better” and what it really means.  He said:<br />
<em><br />
“the word translated ‘better’ in the thousands chapter in the Dhammapda is ‘seyya”, meaning “better” or “good” or “happiness”.  So in Pali, the verses are slightly more powerful than when translated into English because the word has a wider range.  For instance, taking verse 100 (the first one) it literally means,</p>
<p>“than a thousand speeches<br />
which are composed of pointless/meaningless words<br />
one valuable/meaningful word is better/is excellent<br />
which having heard one is calmed.” [repeat]</p>
<p>So not only is one meaningful word better than a thousand meaningless words, but it is excellent and good in itself.  There is the same positive ambiguity in the word “seyyo” in many of the verses….”</em></p>
<p>Next I decided to look at a number of different translations in order to get a “poet’s eye view” of what was being said in each of the verses… because “factual truth” is not everything in the spiritual life… poetic truth is also important.</p>
<p>I looked at:</p>
<p>Juan Mascaro-  &#8211; the Penguin translation and the one I am most familiar with.  Interestingly it’s a translation from Pali into English by a Spanish man….</p>
<p>then I looked at Bhante’s translation (and was interested to notice that he introduces a fair few extra words (in square brackets) to make clear the context in which the Buddha was speaking these verses, ie in the context of Hindu, Vedic culture… that the Dhamma at the time is being spoken into a culture where vedic verses and practises are the familiar norm.</p>
<p>I also looked at Buddharakkhita’s (fairly literal translation) published by the Maha Bodhi Society in Bangalora – I like this version as it has a parallel pali text on the left-hand page, so you can get an idea of what the actual original pali word was, which has helped in getting a sense of the overall structure of this chapter.</p>
<p>then I looked at the translation in the Shambala pocket classics edition by Thomas Byrom (as recommended by Jvalamalini) – I like the translation for its poetic quality (and there’s a delightful introduction by Ram Dass evoking how it would be to hear the Dhammapada if you’d been walking across India for weeks trying to track down the Buddha before you heard it….).  There are some bits where this translation is loose to the point of being a bit-misleading, but there’s a lot that’s good about it – not least the verse I chose as the title for this talk!</p>
<p>and finally I looked at a “rendering” of the Dhammapada by Ajahn Munindo, a friend of Dhivan’s who’s a monk at the Aruna Ratnagiri Monastery in Northumberland.  This is not a literal translation, but a “Dhammapada for reflection” that “aims to communicate the living spirit of the text, unencumbered by rigid adherence to formal exactness”.  In the introduction to this edition, Dhivan writes:</p>
<p><em>“The book that you hold in your hands is a sparkling basket of light, full of illumination of the human situation”</em></p>
<p>(My only reason for quoting this is gratuitous pleasure… I think it’s such a fantastic image that I wanted to share it – and also, it’s not always how we see the Dhammapada…!)</p>
<p>So I looked at these five translations (and the key pali words) and compared what they had to say about each verse and then, inspired by Sagaravajra’s talk a few weeks ago, I began to look at the structure of the Chapter to see what, if anything, that might reveal.  This wasn’t something I’d probably have thought of doing, but I was very taken with the way that he saw a whole “mandala” structure in the Chapter 9 (Evil) (I think it was that Chapter!).<br />
<strong><br />
The Structure and the Teachings Contained in the Chapter</strong></p>
<p>What became fascinatingly clear, when I started to look more closely into how this Chapter was put together, is what a huge amount of Dharma there is packed into it!  Now that might sound daft… but let’s go through and look at it systematically, a bit at a time:</p>
<p><em>100	Better than a thousand meaningless words collected together (in the Vedic oral tradition) is a single meaningful word on hearing which one becomes tranquil.<br />
101	Better than a thousand meaningless verses collected together (in the Vedic oral tradition) is one (meaningful) line of verse on hearing which one becomes tranquil.<br />
102	Though one should recite a hundred (Vedic) verses, (verses) without meaining, better is one line (or: a single word) of Dhamma on hearing which one becomes tranquil.</em></p>
<p>It seems to me that these verses relate to the experience of “Perfect Vision” (in terms of the Noble Eightfold Path) or, we could say, to the “Fourth Sight” (the sight of the holy man) in the Four Noble Truths.  Either way, we can see them as relating to a moment of true contact with the Dharma – and I imagine that many if not all of us can remember the significance of the moment in our lives at which we really first heard the Dharma, the point where some of it really “went it”… and that that single moment stands out amidst the thousands of other moments which surrounded it….</p>
<p>The next three verses bring in the “battle” imagery and are, I think, about helping us to establish what the “real battleground” of the spiritual life is:</p>
<p><em>103	Though one should conquer in battle thousands upon thousands of men, yet he who conquers himself is (truly) the greatest in battle.<br />
104	It is indeed better to conquer oneself than to conquer other people. Of a man who has subdued himself, (and) who lives (self-)controlled,<br />
105	neither a god nor a celestial musician (gandhabba), nor Mara together with Brahma, can undo the victory – the victory of a person who is (subdued and controlled) like that.  </em></p>
<p>Now.  I’m going to take us on a bit of a diversion at this point to explore what the point is that’s really being made here.  I think it links straight back to the very first verse of the Dhammapada – “our life is the creation of our mind”  (v1, Mascaro translation).  Just as we can get distracted from engaging with our spiritual practice by fretting about all the time we’ve already wasted, we can also get distracted by blaming other people (or engaging in conflict with them)… by feeling that “if only we can get so-and-so to do or be some different way, then we’ll be able to get on with our practice”.  This is a red herring.  We need to name and recognise that we are our own biggest distractions in the spiritual life.</p>
<p>There’s a wonderful essay by the poet Mary Oliver called “Of Power and Time” and in it, she’s explicitly talking about the process of writing, but she makes the point that what she’s saying applies to “creative work” of any kind – and that includes spiritual practice.  She’s talking about how easy it is to get distracted from the task in hand, and she says:<br />
<em><br />
“But just as often, if not more often, the interruption comes not from another but from the self itself, or some other self within the self, that whistles and pounds upon the door panels and tosses itself, splashing, into the pond of meditation. And what does it have to say?  That you must phone the dentist, that you are out of mustard, that your uncle Stanley’s birthday is two weeks hence.  You react, of course.  Then you return to your work, only to find that the imps of idea have fled back into the mist.</p>
<p>It is this internal force – this intimate interrupter – whose tracks I would follow.  ”  </em>(Blue Pastures, p 1)</p>
<p>As I say, she’s talking specifically about the process of writing and distracting herself from writing, but it’s easy to see how this applies, for instance, to sitting on the meditation (and being able to stay there are not get distracted and get up and do something “more important”).</p>
<p>At the end of the essay, she evokes that wonderful feeling, when one has broken free of the gravitational pull of teeth, mustard and Uncle Stanley’s birthday….<br />
<em><br />
“On any morning or afternoon, serious interruptions to work, therefore, are never the inopportune, cheerful, even loving interruptions which come to us from another.  Serious interruptions come from the watchful eye we cast upon ourselves.  There is the blow that knocks the arrow from its mark!  There is the drag we throw over our own intentions.  There is the interruption to be feared.</p>
<p>It is six A.M., and I am working.  I am absent-minded, reckless, heedless of social obligations, etc.  It is as it must be.  The tire goes flat, the tooth falls out, there will be hundred meals without mustard.  The poem gets written.  I have wrestled with the angel and I am stained with light and I have no shame.  Neither do I have guilt.  My responsibility is not to the ordinary, or the timely.  It does not include mustard, or teeth.  It does not extend to the lost button, or the beans in the pot.  My loyalty is to the inner vision, whenever and howsoever it may arrive.  If I have a meeting with you at three o’clock, rejoice if I am late.  Rejoice even more if I do not arrive at all.” </em>(Blue Pastures, p7).</p>
<p>I hope this conveys something of the spirit that I feel connects the “battle” verses of the Dhammapada and the work of Mary Oliver…  There’s a quote from Thoreau – a suitably battle-ish quote – where he talks about following the beat of “a different drum”.  I think these two first “chunks” of the “Thousands” Chapter are in the same territory… they talk about hearing the Dharma and then “conquering” oneself sufficiently to be able to follow the “beat” of that drum, not getting distracted by hearing (or reciting) irrelevant verses or unnecessary battles with other people….</p>
<p>The next “chunk” of verses relate to reverence and worship and the importance of having the right object of devotion – and again, there is reference to the Hindu/Vedic traditions from which the Buddha was endeavouring to help his followers to be free.</p>
<p><em>106	If month after month for a hundred years one should offer sacrifices by the thousand, and if for a single moment one should venerate a (spiritually) developed person, better is that (act of) veneration than the hundred years (of sacrifices).<br />
107	Though one should tend the sacred fire in the forest for a hundred years, yet if he venerates a (spiritually) developed person even for a moment, better is that (act of) veneration than the hundred years (spent tending the sacred fire).<br />
108	Whatever oblations and sacrifices one might offer here on earth in the course of the whole (Vedic) religious year, seeking to gain merit thereby, all that is not a quarter (as meritorious) as paying respect to those who live uprightly, which is (indeed) excellent.<br />
109	For him who is of a reverential disposition, four things constantly increase: life, beauty, happiness, and strength.</em></p>
<p>Reflecting on this, I feel the verses are about positive emotion – the second limb of the Noble Eightfold Path.  It’s making a distinction between the common (Vedic) practices at the time of making offerings with the motivation of gaining merit and the much more positive consequences of veneration, paying respect and having a reverential disposition to “those who live uprightly” (ie practice the Dharma) simply because they are “worthy of respect”.  The list of the “benefits” which result from such other-regarding reverence at the end reminds of that list of benefits which result from practising the “metta bhavana” – another form of cultivating positive emotion.  We can see this verse as reminding us that worship and reverence are practices whose aim is to enable us to develop positive emotion, to change ourselves rather than as some semi-superstitious rite carried out in the hope of “gaining merit”.</p>
<p>In verses 110 and 111 we have the whole of the 3- fold path(!)…</p>
<p><em>110	Though one should live a hundred years unethical and unintegrated (asamahita), better is one single day lived ethically [that’s ETHICS!] and absorbed (in higher meditative states).</em> [that’s MEDITATION]<br />
<em>111	Though one should live a hundred years of evil understanding and unintegrated, better is one single day lived possessed of wisdom and absorbed (in higher meditative states).</em> [that’s WISDOM]</p>
<p>So in verse 110 with its mention of ethics, we cover the 3rd to the 5th stages of the Noble Eightfold Path – perfect speech, perfect action and perfect livelihood.  I won’t go into this in more detail here, now, but move on to verse</p>
<p><em>112	Better than a hundred years lived lazily and with inferior energy is one single day lived with energy aroused and fortified.</em></p>
<p>And so this verse is about cultivating energy or virya which connects with Perfect Effort – the 6th limb (or stage) of the Noble Eightfold path.  As I said earlier, I find this chapter inspiring when I’m getting despondent about wasted time and energy and so I can take it quite literally.. that OK, I might have wasted an awful lot of days “living lazily and with inferior energy”, but hey, I’ve (finally) noticed and now I can give my full attention and energy to making the most of the next day or bit of time – and who knows what good might result from that.  (I can’t resist repeating here – as I so often do – my favourite quote from Bhante’s teacher Dhardo Rimpoche – “If you work hard, in the right way, the effect will spread like light.”  I guess that’s kind of how I feel about the “seizing the moment” feel that this verse gives me…OK, I’ve wasted time, but I’ve still got this very next moment and who knows what might result from this if I can only apply myself “with energy aroused and fortified”….)</p>
<p>The final three verses cover the last two stages of the Noble Eightfold Path and the culmination of the spiritual life:</p>
<p><em>113	Better than a hundred years lived unaware of the rise and fall (of conditioned things) is one single day lived aware of the rise and fall (of conditioned things).</em></p>
<p>So the focus of this verse is awareness or recollection, often translated as ‘mindfulness’.  The fore-going stages or limbs of the path have been about establishing a basis of perfect vision, emotion, ethics and energy), which can then enable us to turn our minds (really to turn our minds) to conditionality, to pratitya-samutpada, the central teaching of the Buddha – that all things arise in dependence on conditions and, in the absence of those conditions, cease.  I think it’s worth re-stating here an important point which Bhante makes about the Noble Eightfold Path – and that is that it isn’t a linear path.  In pali it’s the arya astangika marga.  “Arya” means noble, “asta” means “eight” and “anga” means limb.  (“Marga” is way or path).  The importance of this word “anga”, meaning limb, is that it opens up idea that actually it’s much more like growing a tree with 8 limbs, rather than plodding in a step by step way from one to the next, leaving each behind as one “progresses”.  As I was writing this, I was thinking “Oh yes, and how our practice goes is that we do get little bits of each “limb” at different times…” and that made me think about how that ties in with what I see as the overarching “message” of this Chapter of the Dhammapada, which is “don’t discount small amounts of time, energy, little glimpses of the truth and little acts of kindness”.  Each moment we turn our minds to the Dharma, each time we practice the ethical precepts, each time we become just that little bit more aware, we’re adding droplets of practice, tiny bits to each of the “limbs” of the Noble Eightfold path.. and it’s all cumulative.  It all has an effect. None of it is ever wasted. So there’s no need to spend precious time berating ourselves for all that we don’t do or haven’t done… </p>
<p>Which brings us to the final two verses:</p>
<p><em>114	Better than a hundred years lived unaware of the Deathless State is one single day lived aware of the Deathless State<br />
115	Better than a hundred years lived unaware of the Supreme Truth (dhammana uttamam) is one single day lived aware of the Supreme Truth.</em></p>
<p>The final limb of the 8-fold path is samyak-samadhi – which Bhante says is only inadequately translated by the phrase “perfect meditation”.  He doesn’t offer a particular alternative, saying “As a general rule the more advanced the stage of spiritual development, the less there is to say about it.”  But he does tell us that the word “samadhi” literally means the state of being firmly fixed or established.  So I think we can understand these last two verses to be talking about us gradually having our awareness firmly fixed or established in the state of the deathless or supreme truth.</p>
<p>There’s a whole other talk about what that might be (or even a lifetime of talks!), so instead I’m going to end with a poem which is a poetic leap connecting with what, for me is the spirit of this Chapter of the Dhammapada – which in essence is to say “make the most of every moment you can (but don’t fret about the ones that get away).</p>
<p>Before I read it I just wanted to express my gratitude for having the opportunity to give this talk – I’ve learnt such a lot in the process. I’d like to thank Saccanama for suggesting that we study the Dhammapada this term.  I’d like to thank Sagaravajra for inspiring me (with his talk – he doesn’t know he’s done it (yet)!) to dig a bit more deeply into what’s going on in this Chapter and I’d like to thank Bhante for dreaming up the Order and the Movement as a context in which I feel I can live my life out more fully than I would ever have imagined possible.  </p>
<p>/continued over<br />
 <em><br />
<strong>When Death Comes</strong></p>
<p>When death comes<br />
like the hungry bear in autumn;<br />
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse</p>
<p>to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;<br />
when death comes<br />
like the measles-pox;</p>
<p>when death comes<br />
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,</p>
<p>I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:<br />
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?</p>
<p>And therefore I look upon everything<br />
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,<br />
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,<br />
and I consider eternity as another possibility,</p>
<p>and I think of each life as a flower, as common<br />
as a field daisy, and as singular,</p>
<p>and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,<br />
tending, as all music does, towards silence,</p>
<p>and each body a lion of courage, and something<br />
precious to the earth.</p>
<p>When it&#8217;s over I want to say; all my life<br />
I was a bride, married to amazement.<br />
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.</p>
<p>When it&#8217;s over, I don&#8217;t want to wonder<br />
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.<br />
I don&#8217;t want to find myself sighing, and frightened,<br />
or full of argument.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t want to end up simply having visited this world.</p>
<p>Mary Oliver</p>
<p></em></p>
<p>Satyalila<br />
Bristol<br />
23/11/08</p>
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		<title>The Story of the Fankle</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2008/03/02/the-story-of-the-fankle/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2008/03/02/the-story-of-the-fankle/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Mar 2008 20:25:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[One important aspect of the long Akasavana retreat last summer which I haven’t yet written about is The Story of the Fankle.  Fankle is a wonderful Scots word, introduced to me by Jayavardhini.  It doesn’t appear in the Concise Oxford Dictionary, but its meaning is “to get in a mental knot” about something. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One important aspect of the long Akasavana retreat last summer which I haven’t yet written about is The Story of the Fankle.  Fankle is a wonderful Scots word, introduced to me by Jayavardhini.  It doesn’t appear in the Concise Oxford Dictionary, but its meaning is “to get in a mental knot” about something.  In Buddhist terms it describes “propantia” or mental proliferation – something with which I am, sadly, very familiar!  During the course of the retreat I reflected on this wonderful word, fankle, and found it very useful in my practice.  Time and again I found myself “getting into a fankle” about something… only to spot it and then try, patiently and kindly, to unravel it.  </p>
<p>We had a special Vajrasattva puja one day (led by Jayavardhini and Nagarakshita) and I realised that this was a great opportunity to ritually let go of my habit of getting into a fankle.  Not only is Vajrasattva the figure on which I meditate, he is also associated with purification, so I decided to make a fankle to offer at this puja.  As soon as I had the idea, the visual image of the Fankle appreared fully-formed in my mind.  It involved a lot of rusty, twisted wire and rainbow coloured wool (which I had, of course brought with me on the retreat…)  At the “heart” of the Fankle was a glass pebble (symbolising my “essential diamond nature which is the essence of sunyata” – ie the idea that we are intrinsically pure, but that that purity becomes obscured by defilements – which in this case are tangled thinking, represented by the wool and wire)  I wrapped the glass pebble in a sheet of paper coloured with turquoise scribbly writing (not unlike the original draft of this story!)  Then I wrapped the paper bundle about with rainbow wool which gradually wove in and out of the big tangle of rusty wire about 10” by 12” (left over from the building work).  Round and round the tangled web of the rainbow wool wove, in and out, sometimes round and round and round one single strand of wire which caught my attention – like thoughts harping on a single subject.</p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/fankle1.jpg' alt='Fankle 1' /></p>
<p>The Fankle was done and the next afternoon I carried it ceremoniously into the silent shrine room for the special puja.  Eyes glanced, askance.  “What’s that?!” Someone whispered.  “A Fankle!” I replied – and the silence dissolved into muffled snorts and giggles.</p>
<p>After the puja it seemed that the Fankle culd not just be thrown away – tho’ I was taken with the idea of  hurling from the terrace outside the shrineroom and naming the place “Fankle’s End” (“Dun Fanklin’” being another possibility…or a name for a future abode.)  However, I could not, in all conscience, hurl my “essential diamond nature” (still at the heart of the Fankle) away over a cliff.  (And anyway, I pretty soon realised it would have landed in Ratnadharini’s tent, a couple of terraces below!)</p>
<p>So a place had to be found for it.  Earlier in the retreat, when I’d been fretting about (my lack of) contentment, I’d had a good talk with Padmasuri sitting on high on a rocky outcrop above the Shrine Room.  As I mentioned in another post, we’d rather taken to naming bits of the landscape, so she and I decided that this, henceforth, would be Contentment Rock.  Where-else, therefore, could the Fankle possibly come to rest  but on Contentment Rock?  And so it was that ritually, on Dharma Day (on the blue moon of July) that Jayavardhini and I (with Vijayasri in attenance) carried the Fankle from the shrine room and laid it on Contentment Rock, thereby creating “Fankle’s Rest”…..</p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/fankle2.jpg' alt='Fankle \&quot;' /></p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/fankle3.jpg' alt='Fankle 3' /></p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/fankles4.jpg' alt='Fankle 4' /></p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/fankle6.jpg' alt='Fankle 6' /></p>
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		<title>The Still Point &amp; The Dance&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2008/03/02/the-still-point-the-dance/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2008/03/02/the-still-point-the-dance/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:42:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=71</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is a sunny morning here in Bristol as I write and I can hear seagulls – one of the lovely sounds (along with church bells) which I often hear when I’m in my garret (ie tiny flat stuffed full of books high up at the top of Georgian terraced house in the centre of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It is a sunny morning here in Bristol as I write and I can hear seagulls – one of the lovely sounds (along with church bells) which I often hear when I’m in my garret (ie tiny flat stuffed full of books high up at the top of Georgian terraced house in the centre of town.)  My heart feels very open and tender this morning after an unusually engaged meditation.  I’ve been reading Will Johnson’s books on body awareness in meditation and his image of being in touch with the whole body in meditation as “a unified field of tactile sensation” really inspires me.  Likewise his way of  expressing “full body, empty mind”… the fact that if one is fully aware of one’s body, mental proliferation becomes impossible.</p>
<p>I’ve an ongoing thread of reflection going back to my ordination about the dichotomy (or dialectic, ok Simhanada!) in my name.  Vijayasri translated it to me as “ she who is true and playful” – definitely the two parts, not “truthful play” or “ playful truth” (both of which I find oddly painful to hear – it somehow diminishes both).  When we were at Akasavana last summer, Subhadramati led us in a wonderful reflection/ritual based on the Gosinga Sala-Tree Wood sutta and one of the things that emerged for me from that was a strong sense of “the still point and the dance” (of Eliot’s “Four Quartets”).  It’s too subtle to pin down completely, but “satya” as still point and “lila” as dance fascinates me.  I’ve reflected on this in relation the image of Vajrasattva:  the“hum” (seed syllable) at his heart is like the still point and the encircling mantra as the dance.  (Cf Vessantara, “Meeting the Buddhas” p 233)  I guess playing with (and, to a certain extent, being guided by) images (and poems) is a significant part of how I practise.  Last year, the image of the sun aligning with a series of standing-stones and illuminating a dark chamber was a decisive moment in my deciding to resign my job and join the long Akasavana retreat.  As if the sun had shone into the depths of my heart and revealed to me what was most deeply important to me there.</p>
<p>Last week, in mitra study, we were discussing adhisthana [“grace waves”] (in the context of the Vimalakirti Nirdesa series) and the extent to which we experience and are sustained by this – particularly in doing things which are difficult.  Earlier in the week, I’d had an image that I felt not so much like a “rolling stone” (as in “gathering no moss”) but more like a bouncing one!  I realised that my decision to go on the long retreat had set off a “cycle of bounces” which is not yet complete (and maybe it never will be…).  In practical terms, what this means is that I’ve decided not to stay on as “Manager” of Bristol Evolution beyond my 6-month trial, which ends in a couple of weeks.  A part of me longs to “settle” to something and I have plenty of inner critics and judges berating me for all the chopping and changing I’ve done in recent years.  However, I was deeply affected by the talk Mumukshu gave at the National Order Weekend at the start of December when she talked about her experience of freedom coming from “tying herself to where her heart is”.  It really made me think.</p>
<p>What I’m going on to do is to spend 5 months as Acting Administrator at the Bristol Buddhist Centre, covering for Danus Blanchard and Chris Zak, who’re both off to be ordained (Sadhu to them both and also to Julia Simnett, who’s also going.)  Come August I’ll still be employed 2-days per week, but will need to be job-hunting again as I can’t afford to live on this.  And so, the stone will bounce again……</p>
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		<title>Up a mountain&#8230; practising the Dharma</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/21/one-picture-to-sum-up-three-months-on-retreat-in-spain/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/21/one-picture-to-sum-up-three-months-on-retreat-in-spain/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:40:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=70</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/ResplendedGemRock.jpg' alt='Resplendent Gem Rock' /></p>
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		<title>Arriving at Akasavana and about the place&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/11/arriving-at-akasavana-and-about-the-place/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Nov 2007 22:59:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=68</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
It was breathtaking.  The retreat house stands on a kind of promontory of land at about 920 metres, with 300 metre cliffs behind and a vast open vista of mountains all around, including the spectacular and monumental Masmut – seemingly one enormous rock the size of a small mountain.  When I walked from [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/akashavana.jpg' alt='Aranya' /></p>
<p>It was breathtaking.  The retreat house stands on a kind of promontory of land at about 920 metres, with 300 metre cliffs behind and a vast open vista of mountains all around, including the spectacular and monumental Masmut – seemingly one enormous rock the size of a small mountain.  When I walked from the double-height porch into the equally high-ceilinged dinig room with pristine white walls, huge woodburning stove and blue-stained tables made from recycled doors, my jaw literally dropped.  The retreat centre building was stunning inside as well as out.  The architect had transformed the ruined farm-house and barn into a spacious and aesthetically pleasing space, utilising features such as door and window-lintels to bring character and contrast to the simple white walls and concrete floors.</p>
<p>The living conditions at Akasavana are basic.  We only had hot running water in the kitchen and there was no heating in the bedrooms downstairs.  We went to bed in our thermals &#038; woolly hats  (when we got there, in April) with hot water water bottles heated by pans on the woodburning stove in the sitting room.  We had calor gas for cooking and heating water.  Lighting and the water pump from the spring is powered by solar power and we used rainwater to wash our clothes.  Water in scarce in Spain, so we were told at the start that our daily ration was two buckets each, to include washing self and clothes and flushing the loo.  (Drinking water was fetched in big containers directly from the spring a couple of terraces further down the hillside.)</p>
<p>All our un-compostable rubbish had to be carried out by the 4&#215;4 which had brought us and would bring our food supplies up the 8 km dirt track from the village, Penarroya de Tastavins.  WE had a very hard-working support team of 3 women for the retreat (Padmadharini, Santasiddhi and Alokada) and they lived in the community house a mile or two away on our second plot of land.  The total area owned by the Retreat Centre is 108 hectares – a satisfyingly significant number for Buddhists!  (It’s the traditional number of beads on a mala, for counting mantras.)</p>
<p>It took weeks to grown accustomed to the scale of the place – look across the valley and we owned that hill, too!  Walk up to the top of “our track” and it was a good ten minutes walk.  Climb onto the lower ledge of cliff some 120 metres about the retreat house and that, too, is land we own, where maybe one day we could create a solitary retreat facility.  It was hard to take in that we actually own this stunningly beautify, amazingly remote place.  After six weeks I heard a dog barking and realised it was the first intrusive sound I had heard since we got there!</p>
<p>Being the first retreat there, we had the delight in participating in “mythologizing” the land.  Rituals had been done from when the land was first acquired to connect with the local spirits of the place.  Now we also began to create shrines to Buddhas, marking out the cardinal points with flags and cairns for the 5 dhyani Buddhas, creating a ritual space dedicated to Vajrasattva in a beautifully arched cave we own further down the mountain and even just simply naming local tracks.  Not long after we arrived, wild peonies were spotted growing in the middle of the track leading up behind the retreat centre ridge.  For the rest of the retreat this became known as the Peony Path.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until I’d been there about a month that I scrambled with Vijayasri up onto the topmost of the cliffs above our land and looked down, getting a clear picture of the lie of the land and its extent.  The way our boundaries run down the shoulders of the hills, the clear path made by our new vehicle-track to the shrine-room building, a three-minute walk along a narrow short-cut path from the retreat house.</p>
<p>That’s a lot of words about the physical environment of the place (without mentioning the ground itself, full of fossils and crystals, the goats, the griffin vultures, the rosemary, thyme, lavender and wild roses, as well as the ever-changing mass of wild flowers.)  But I guess the physical environment was a major conditioning factor right through the retreat.  It’s a challenging place to live: not only remote, it’s an easy place to fall over, even just walking along on the lose stones of one of the tracks.  There are scorpions to be found under rocks (admittedly I only saw one, when it was specially pointed out!) and two people saw hooded vipers.  A harmless but beautiful green-blue southern smooth snake made its way into one of the bedrooms through an open door and coiled under a bed, until gently removed by Anilasri….</p>
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		<title>How I came to be on a 3 month retreat up a Spanish Mountin&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/11/how-i-came-to-be-on-a-3-month-retreat-up-a-spanish-mountin/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/11/how-i-came-to-be-on-a-3-month-retreat-up-a-spanish-mountin/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Nov 2007 22:58:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=67</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For about ten years I’d been wanting to take part in a long retreat – six weeks or 3 months.  I think it was a part of my profound curiosity about how much it is possible for one’s mind, one’s way of experiencing the world to change through spiritual practice if one puts oneself [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For about ten years I’d been wanting to take part in a long retreat – six weeks or 3 months.  I think it was a part of my profound curiosity about how much it is possible for one’s mind, one’s way of experiencing the world to change through spiritual practice if one puts oneself wholeheartedly into conducive conditions..  And I’d always been attracted to quite “full on” ways of practising.  In 1996-7 I left my partner, home, mortgage and career to go and live and work with a group of friends running a Buddhist Wholefood Shop in Croydon.  It often wasn’t easy, but it certainly gave me a taste for how different my experience of myself – and life – could be in supportive conditions for practice.</p>
<p>I’d always thought my opportunity for a long retreat would come with ordination.  For quite a few years, around the time I was hoping to be ordained, there were 7 week ordination retreats held in Tuscany, in an old monastery called Il Convento.  However, it didn’t work out like that.  When I received my invitation to be ordained in 2005, the Tuscany retreats had just come to and end and our new women’s ordination retreat centre in the mountains of Spain was not yet operational.  So my ordination retreat was 2 weeks at Tiratanaloka in the Brecon Beacons.  There were many great things about that – not least, being ordained alongside my lovely friend Kamalamani, with (whom I’m now in a Chapter) and being able to have lots of friends and family there.  But it wasn’t the long retreat I was still yearning for.</p>
<p>My Private Preceptor (ie the person who ordained me) was Vijayasri and she spent 3 years in Spain working on the building project at the new retreat Centre.  Not infrequently did I fantasize about bveing able to take part in the first retreat there – but it was be an ordination retreat, and when it was finally scheduled for April – July 2007, I was already ordained!  I harboured a bit of a fantasy about sneaking onto the retreat as a stow-away and even emailed Ratnadharini (the Retreat Leader and my Public Preceptor) to say this.  Not long after, I got an email back from her saying they thought they’d have spare places on the retreat and how great it would be if I could join them.</p>
<p>I spend a week or two after this invitation trying quite hard to be Sensible.  Only the year before I’d found a 4-day-a-week job round the corning with a little charity that promotes cycling.  I knew that if I decided to go on the retreat I’d need to give up the job.  I tried quite hard to encourage myself to practise contentment with the conditions I’d already set up.  But the idea wouldn’t go away.  One Friday morning (my day off) I woke up and was drinking tea in bed, musing.  Suddenly it felt like the alignment of the sun with the entrance of a chamber usually shrouded in darkness. I saw the complete uniqueness of the opportunity I was being offered – three whole months on retreat with two of the most important people in my life…Not just the fulfilment of a long-held dream, but, in the context of my practice – a once in a lifetime opportunity.</p>
<p>Knowing that I can be somewhat impulsive at times, I decided to seek the counsel of my friends, in case I was hurling off into some intoxicated orbit, from which I might make a painful and undignified landing at some point in the future.  I thought they might “hold onto my ankles” to stop me floating off on a fantasy, like Winnie-the-Pooh, clutching his balloon…  However, I could find no-one who did not think it a good idea.  It was decided.</p>
<p>I bought my plane ticket the next day, Saturday and on the Monday resigned my job.  I had 5 or 6 weeks in which to sort things out, sublet my flat and accumulate the necessary head torch, mosquito net, notebooks, sun hat and suitable footwear for the adventure.  An added bonus to going on the retreat was that the delightful woman formerly-known-as Jo Howes (now Samasuri) was to be ordained on it.  We made part of the journey together, arriving at the new retreat centre just ast the kitchen workstops had been fitted and the notice boards screwed to the wall (the latter by Ratnadharini, who was also leading the retreat!).  </p>
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		<title>So I went away for 3 months and came back&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/11/so-i-went-away-for-3-months-and-came-back/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/11/11/so-i-went-away-for-3-months-and-came-back/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Nov 2007 22:29:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=66</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Although this way back in the summer!  We got back on 13 July.
There was a &#8220;before&#8221; picture (thank you Kamalamani):

And then there was an &#8220;after&#8221; one&#8230;. together with Samasuri (thank you, again, Kamalamani!):

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Although this way back in the summer!  We got back on 13 July.</p>
<p>There was a &#8220;before&#8221; picture (thank you Kamalamani):</p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/satyalila_airportgoing_02.jpg' alt='Way out' /></p>
<p>And then there was an &#8220;after&#8221; one&#8230;. together with Samasuri (thank you, again, Kamalamani!):</p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/MeandSamasuriComingHome.jpg' alt='Satyalila and Samasuri' /></p>
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		<title>Off on a long retreat</title>
		<link>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/04/18/off-on-a-long-retreat/</link>
		<comments>http://www.satyalila.cx/2007/04/18/off-on-a-long-retreat/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Apr 2007 12:10:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Satyalila</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.satyalila.cx/?p=63</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m off on retreat up a mountain in Spain at Akashavana (see
www.akashavana.org for pix) from Wed 18 April &#8211; Fri 13 August and in transit
for a bit thereafter until the Order Convention in August&#8230;..  The Bag Lady
has packed most of her possessions (and almost herself!) into the loft until
her return&#8230;.

(Thanks to Duncan for pic!)
Happy [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m off on retreat up a mountain in Spain at Akashavana (see<br />
<a href="http://www.akashavana.org">www.akashavana.org</a> for pix) from Wed 18 April &#8211; Fri 13 August and in transit<br />
for a bit thereafter until the Order Convention in August&#8230;..  The Bag Lady<br />
has packed most of her possessions (and almost herself!) into the loft until<br />
her return&#8230;.</p>
<p><img src='http://www.satyalila.cx/wp-content/LoftArmsandLegs.jpg' alt='Loft Arms and Legs' /></p>
<p>(Thanks to Duncan for pic!)</p>
<p>Happy Summer!</p>
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