Articles


The Garret Hermitage, Bristol, Thursday 2 July 2009, 7.20 am

I sent the following text to Sangha friends in my phone address book:

“Dear Friends, this is a bit mad, but I’m having a day of playing creatively with the struggle of life and had the idea of texting all the Sangha friends in my phone to see what yr current favourite pith Dharma teaching is? I think mine is “I do not have, I do not understand, I do not know.” Love, Satyalila

And they replied:

“’How can the precepts of the Buddha ever deceive?’ (Life and Lib) and ‘The most important thing for a spiritual practitioner is to guard the sources of inspiration.’ (Dhammarati)
From V in London (7.35 am)

“Today I am struggling to keep metta at the heart of my relationship with my daughter.”
From S in Bristol (7.41 am)

“Blimey, bit random for 7.30 in the morning; good for you. Mine is ‘holding to nothing whatever.’”
From T in Bristol (7.45 am)

“Ditto! But also “Ascend with the conduct Descent with the view.” Thank you for making me smile. Metta.”
From P in Bristol (7.47 am)

“Dearest Satyalila thank you for your question. How about this. ‘My barn having burned to the ground I can now see the moon.’ This hits the spot this morning. Xxx”

From V in Cambridge (7.51 am)

“I love Stephen Batchelor’s teaching 2 live life as question using the Korean zen koan or phrase ‘what is this?’ xx
From S in Bristol (7.53 am)

“Buddha is a shitty stick” – Ummon.
From S in Somerset (7.58 am)

“I’ve been reflecting on the nature of mind and that the true nature of mind & reality are the same. x “
From C in Bristol (8.08 am)

“Mine’s ‘with mindfulness strive on!’
From P in Bristol (8.10 am)

“Animosity does not still animosity, only by loving-kindness are the seeds of hatred eradicated. This law is ancient and eternal. Love”
From J in Bristol (8.14 am)

“Hiya. All the best with that. I’m on move to Newcastle today! Exciting and nervous. Not sure what my fav pith teaching is right now but where would be b without friendship. X “
From S in transit (10.17 am)

“’Call forth as much as you can of love of respect and of faith.’ Thanks for giving me the opportunity to think this.”
From V in London (10.18 am)

“Dhammasena says ‘The holy life is not practiced to get out of difficulties in controversy nor that one be known as such and such by others. It is practiced for the controlling of body and speech, the cleansing of corruptions; the detachment from and the cessation of craving.’ Anguttara Nikaya. Phew.”

From V in London (10.18 am)

“In the seen, only the seen.”
From K in Bristol (10.18 am)

“’Even monkeys fall out of trees’ – a Japanese proverb.”

From S in Wales (10.18 am)

“It is the thought that thinks, there is no thinker behind the thought. Love..”

From M in Bristol (10.19 am)

“Only love dispels hatred. X”
From S in Bristol (10.20 am)

“Not sure I have a pith teaching – yours comes close 2 part of it, another might be ‘all beings are from very beginning Buddhas!’”
From D in Croydon (10.21 am)

“Three images: wheel, spiral, Buddha. Hope that helps,”

From J in Bristol (10.22 am)

“Hatred does not cease through hatred, hatred ceases through love. This law is eternal.  “
From P in Bristol (10.22 am)

“Mine is ‘I am free when I am within myself’ – not strictly Dharma, it’s Hegel but so relevant to being mindful.”
From C in Bristol (10.22 am)

“No, that’s not mad, should happen more often! Erm, it’s ‘Poor Tu Fu, must be the poetry…’ X “
From R in Scotland (10.22 am)

“Whatever grounds there are for making merit… All these do not equal a sixteenth part of the liberation of mind that is loving kindness.X”

From K in Bristol (10.23 am)

“Naturally mine is, ‘In the seen, only the seen. Etc’ “

From B in Spain (10.23 am)

“Hello Satyalila. ‘Don’t live in the past or long for the future. What’s past is gone and the future’s not here. Look into just this truth of what is dependently arisen. Knowing it practice it steadfast unshaken.’ Love “

From D in Cambridge (10.24 am)

“If Dharma means – The Way to Liberation. Here’s something Larry said @ Dhanakosa: ‘Enlightenment is not perfection – many calls to adventure, none are perfect!’ X “
From M in Bristol (10.24 am)

“Hi Satyalila, bit difficult to choose but I think it may be something to do with renunciation…. Maybe the other key teaching for me is from Pema Chodron that where the most painful bits are is where the Bodhicitta lies too, yep, that’s the one, bit relevant right now as it always is….”
From L in the French Alps (10.24 am)

“’All is aflame’ xxx”
From L in Bristol (10.25 am)

“I appreciate the spontaneity! One comes to mind ‘Everything’s going for refuge’ xx”

From R in Bristol (10.30 am)

“’Good though passive forbearance may be, the patience we are looking to develop is not a stolid indifference but a dynamic force, powered by loving kindness.’ Vessantara”
From K in Newcastle (10.47 am)

“I keep in mind 2 favourite poems that might not be strictly dharmic. ‘The human body at peace with itself is more precious than the rarest gem, it is yours this one time only’ and Rumi’s Guest House ‘greet them all at the door laughing’ about one’s moods. And I loved a talk given by Ram Dass where he spoke of how awareness helps you to clean up your act.”
From J in Bristol (11.15 am)

“Letting go… all is impermanent.”
From M in Bristol (11.16 am)

“’Form is only emptiness, emptiness only form.’x”
From D in Saltford (11.24 am)

“How do we know what we do is the Dharma? Because is always has the same taste: Freedom.”
From A in Leicester (11.25 am)

“Mine is ‘Don’t try to fix Samsara’ ”

From S in Bristol (11.33 am)

“Hi Hun, Sounds interesting. I have two at the moment my current practices. ‘I’m okay I just need to deal with what comes up’ and ‘Can I relax around this, whatever this is at the time!’ love…”
From I in Devon (11.38 am)

“That’s a lovely thing to do, Satyalila. I am currently trying more to be a ‘being’ rather than my habitual kind of ‘doing’ kind of person. Go well, and with joy.”

From K in Bristol (11.45 am)

“When I think about communicating the Dharma the four right efforts always come to mind.”

From R in Bristol (11.45 am)

“Hi Lovely x Favourite Dharma thing at moment is Bhante saying we need to find middle way between individualism and authoritarianism. I see this can be applied to current stuff around his recent letter.x”
From V on train from Clacton (11.54 am)

“Awakening is not far away, it is nearer than near.”

From K in Bristol (12.46 pm)

“Blue sky.”

From P in Bristol (2.01 pm)

“Nothing is certain.”
From S in Bristol (2.04 pm)

“Hmm – tricky – quite into Bhante’s ‘the activity of emptiness is compassion’ at the mo…’”
From D in Somerset (2.14 pm)

“’Those who do not live in the single Way fail in both activity and passivity.’ Xx”
From K in Penzance (3.19 pm)

“Hi me dear! I tink mine would be: ‘let present experience be your teabag.’ Sorry. I meant teacher. (If that doesn’t sound too pompous.). Much love…”

From A in Bristol (5.19 pm)

“Something I just came across, from private preceptors retreat: ‘great need for dialogue in conflict situations… Take the initiative and initiate without polarizing.’”

From A in Bristol (5.33 pm)

“By living in company with the spiritually immature one grieves for a long time.”

From J in Bristol (5.45 pm)

“Ooh you got me thinking… on the training reading about embodiment…..’look, feel, let life live through you.’ Hokusai.”
From A in Bristol, 2 July

“Hi Satyalila. Thank you for adding some Dharma magic to my morning! I’ve been thinking what teaching appeals to me at the moment – probably something like seeing my difficulties as my practice. Difficult people as precious jewels!”

From B in Bristol, 2 July

“Hello u. I have absolutely no idea BUT your one grabbed me so if you don’t mind I’ll hang on to the tail of that one for a while.”
From P in Bristol, 2 July

“Hi Satyalila. Lovely idea and a nice text to start me day this morning  Hope you got some interesting and inspiring replies. No exactly a specific teaching but just the act of noticing the thoughts that lead me to disconnection from people and the practice of letting them go is a strong and inspiring practice for me at the mo.”

From S in Bristol, 2 July

“I notice that I often don’t want to be with my experience. So I’ve been dropping in the question ‘Do I want to be here?’ every now and then. (Interesting to be with resistance and also discover potential for contentment in every moment even uncomfortable ones).”
From P in Sussex, 3 July

“ Fav pith teaching from Canto 37(?) {103?} of L & L of P, probably misquoted ‘Again and yet again lay bare that which gets in the way of meditation.’

From K in Bristol, 3 July

“Hello, you! ‘Abandon all hope of fruition.’ Lojong. Happy Dharma Day… and Bristol Festival.”
From S in Norwich, 3 July

“’The firm earth patiently bearing the weight of both good and bad..’ But my most helpful is yours!”
From N in Bristol, 3 July

“’There is in fact only one need of one’s own that has to be fulfilled before one can preoccupy oneself effectively with the needs of others, and it is not a physical or material need, but simply a matter of emotional positivity and security. We need to appreciate our own worth and feel that it is appreciated by others, to love ourselves and feel that we are loved by others.’ This is the Bhante quote for you if you want to add it to your website, which if I may say is great, having all those quotes on it. Well done!”
From S in Bristol, 6 July

“Virtue and kindness may be unfashionable, practice them anyway. The path to enlightenment may be far and difficult, start walking towards it anyway. Human beings are selfish and self-centred, love them anyway. People are often ungrateful, help them anyway. Society may be bigoted and ignorant, educate them anyway.”

From S in Bristol, 6 July

This is the talk I wrote as an introduction for those taking part in the International Urban Retreat (www.theurbanretreat.org) at Bristol Buddhist Centre from Saturday 20-27 June 2009.

The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
Things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen: people get hurt
Or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.

William Stafford.

Even before I knew there was such a thing as an Urban Retreat, I wanted to do one. I wanted to live that way. To live, being in touch with the real thread of my life…. The golden thread that I found when I first glimpsed the Dharma over 25 years ago now and which I want to follow for the rest of my life, no matter what.

This is “life with full attention”… a way of living that is really, truly alive, aware, kind.

{This was why I spent six years working in a Wholefood Shop by a flyover in Croydon, but that – as they say – is another story…….}

The Urban Retreat is about Following the thread…

It’s not easy to follow this thread – a thread that we’ve all come into contact with, whether we’re aware of it or not… but it’s not difficult either. We simple have to practise mindfulness, to come back again and again to what is important and to re-establish a heart connection with that again and again. And our Urban Retreat is about exactly that – about saying “right, I’m going to take this week of my ordinary life and turn it into a retreat”… in a way it’s still ordinary, but in another way it’s extra-ordinary… and we could live like that all the time, if we chose, but it takes quite a bit of practice to do that… so it’s good to begin with a week, in company with other people here and across the world and just see what happens, if you really give yourself to your practice during this week. To really explore and practice mindfulness and see what happens


It could be a turning point in your life…

I was looking at the website of the other Centres who‘re running Urban Retreats the other night, and one of them was the Sheffield Buddhist Centre, which is where the idea of Urban Retreat in our movement first started. I was struck by the fact that they said…

“This is for some a turning point in their lives. You decide what you want to do to make the coming week a focus for practice while going about your usual routine. Particularly for those who find it difficult to get away on retreat, and who want to make their everyday life a crucible for change.”

I loved that. I love the idea that we can choose to make our everyday lives the context for the most extraordinary unfolding of our potential… if only we set up the conditions and stick with our intentions…

We connect with the “thread” when we glimpse the Dharma…

So, going back to the “thread” image… When I say “we’ve all come into contact with this thread”, what I mean is that we’ve had a glimpse of the Dharma which has affected not just our minds but our hearts as well and which has led us to some kind of action, to some kind of following…which has led us to do something – even if the something is simply chosing to come along to the Buddhist Centre for the first time and then to come back – like today, when we could have been shopping or mowing the lawn or tidying up our sock drawer….
There are many ways of approaching and describing mindfulness and, as this talk is short, I’m just going to draw out two which are my favourites this morning:

The first is to do with aesthetic appreciation

The second is to do with continuity of purpose.

There are posh Buddhist words for both these two and I like that. I like the fact that there is a root in the Buddhist tradition to which my threads of inspiration and practice connect.


Aesthetic Appreciation – seeing the “golden-ness of the thread”

Aesthetic appreciation is something we can practice – noticing things and becoming aware of their intrinsic beauty… There is a Sanskrit word, – vidya – which is sometimes translated as wisdom which has what I think of as a richer, more helpful translation, which is aesthetic appreciative understanding…. And the reason why this is relevant to us starting our Urban Retreat today is that aesthetic appreciation is something which is available right here, right now to us at ANY point… we simply need to remember that. Look around at any moment and you can find something to appreciate… it might be the way the sunlight comes through the window, and falls on the shrine at a particular time of day, it could be appreciating the sensation of washing your hands with soap in warm water, it could be the sudden sound of a blackbird. A few months ago I came out of my flat after meditating one morning and I was almost transfixed by the beauty of a pile of rusty old scaffolding on a truck outside our side gate…. All really ordinary things… things that are there around us all the time, tho’ we often don’t notice them. And to some extent we’ve probably all realised that these moments of aesthetic appreciation happen more often when we’ve been meditating – and especially if we’ve been meditating on retreat…. The dandelions are brighter after a few days on retreat… I’m sure you can bring to mind a moment when you suddenly really saw and appreciated the beauty of something utterly ordinary.

The thread of aesthetic appreciation can lead to wisdom…

And it’s very important not to underestimate the importance of these little moments of aesthetic appreciation which are mindfulness.. They are a tiny blossoming of awareness, they are the end of the golden thread which leads to wisdom, to aesthetic appreciative understanding of the world…. The poet, William Stafford wrote about this in relation to the art of writing… and what he said is very relevant to the practice of mindfulness. “He believed that whenever you set a detail down in language, it became the end of a thread… and every detail – the sound of the lawn mower, the memory of your father’s hands, a crack you once heard in lake ice, the jogger hurtling herself past your window – will lead to amazing riches.” [the poet Robert Bly, talking about Stafford and the golden thread]

The origin of Stafford’s thread image is back with the English poet, William Blake, who wrote the famous lines

I give you the end of a golden string,
Only wind it into a ball,
It will lead you in at Heaven’s gate
Built in Jerusalem’s wall.

Now I know that talk of Heaven and Jerusalem makes it all sound very Christian and might put some people off, but the image of the golden thread also works brilliantly as a way of understanding how mindfulness can lead us to wisdom.

So I’ve talked about the importance of mindfulness in terms of aesthetic appreciation and how it’s something that comes from the utterly ordinary fabric of our every day existence. I suppose, to extend the image, I’m talking about us catching a glimpse of the glimmer of gold and being drawn towards it, being drawn into being present for that moment when we really see and appreciate the rusty scaffolding in the truck….

Continuity of Purpose – the “thread-ness of the thread”

The second aspect of mindfulness which I wanted to talk about is what I described as “continuity of purpose” or recollection. You could see this is as the “thread-ness” of the thread… there’s the gold-ness of the thread and then there’s the thread-ness… the fact that it leads somewhere, if you choose to follow it.

Bhante Sangharakshita talks about “continuity of purpose” in his book on the Noble Eightfold Path and the posh Sanskrit word for this aspect of mindfulness is samprajanya.. which does literally translate as “mindfulness of purpose” (and there’s another word for it, which is smrti or “recollection“). And I love this passage where he describes the opposite of samprajanya: [Vision and Transformation, p 133]

“Suppose, then, that you are writing a letter, an urgent letter that is imperative should go off by the next post. But as so often happens in modern life the telephone rings, and it is some friends of yours wanting a little chat. Before you know where you are you are involved in quite a lengthy conversation. You go on chatting maybe for half an our, and eventually, the conversation completed, you put down the phone. You have talked about so many things with your friend that you have quite forgotten about the letter, and you have talked for such a long while that you suddenly feel quite thirsty. So you wander into the kitchen and put the kettle on for a cup o tea. Waiting for the kettle to boil you hear a pleasant sound coming through the wall from next door, and realizing it is the radio you think you might as well listen to it. You therefore nip into the next room, switch on the radio, and start listening to the tune. F After that tune is finished there comes another, and you listen to that too. In this way more time passes, and of course you’ve forgotten all about your boiling kettle. Whilst you are in the midst of this daze, or trance-like state, there is a knock at the door. A friend has called to see you. Since you are glad to see him you make him welcome. The two of you sit down together for a chat, and in due course you offer him a cup of tea. You go into the kitchen and find it full of steam. Then you remember that you had put the kettle on some time ago, and that makes you remember your letter. But now it is too late. You have missed the post.”

Bhante says that he uses this example of un-mindfulness because we’re more familiar with un-mindfulness than we are with mindfulness… and it’s easy to see the threads that didn’t get followed in this example! This week is the opportunity to practise the opposite….

In his book “Know Your Mind” Bhante writes: “As a spiritual practice, recollection may be said to be about remembering what is really important, what life is really about and what one is really supposed to be doing. ‘Why am I here? What I am I doing this for?’ Recollection is often about waking up to the fact that one has strayed away from where one really wants to be.” (p108)

For myself, I know that I am happiest, most aware, most able to be present and to give of my best when I’m in touch with what’s most important to me, in terms of overall purpose, and at the same time when I‘m feeling very present, very “in my body“, aware of myself. There’s an almost physical sensation of energy coming together at such times.


Being Really Alive

There’s a great talk on the Urban Retreat website by Maitreyabandhu from the London Buddhist Centre – he was one of my very first teachers when I first got involved in 1993. His talk is called “Life with Full Attention” and he’s also written a book – we’ve got part of it as a free hand out for this retreat. I’d really recommend this talk, it’s only about half and hour and he manages to say a lot in it, in a very engaging way which I think is both deep and witty.

The main point he makes at the beginning is that mindfulness is about LIVING, it’s about being REALLY ALIVE, alive in your experience, not letting it all just drift past and then you’re dead. He says the whole of Buddhism is about moving from being less alive to being more alive, which I really loved. I loved it because it spoke to me of those moments we’ve all had, which are there all the time if we can only remember to set up the conditions to become aware of them – to meditate, to slow down a bit, to remember to breathe, to become aware of our bodies, to let go of the millions of things which distract us from being present….

I’m always quoting this Mary Oliver poem, which I know is a favourite of Jvalamalini’s too, and I’m not going to to resist the opportunity to quote it again here (because, after all “non-repetition is the canker of the spiritual life”!)

When Death Comes

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

Mary Oliver

Conclusion

And that brings me right back to why I feel so passionately about things like being on this Urban Retreat, because we can do it, right here, right now. We can help ourselves and each other in very do-able, practical ways to become more and more alive and aware.

We’ve got a whole week.

We’ve got a plan.

We’ve got each other

We’ve got a whole host of resources

All we need to do is to begin!

We’re going to have a 20-minute teabreak next, so you can make a start right there are and then… become aware of your body as you get up and moving about, noticing your breathing. When you get your tea, see if you can really notice drinking it and enjoy it….

Then we’ll gather in the reception room for a practical workshop to start to identify what we can actually do to start to live “Life with full attention” – we can look at what prevents us being mindful, as well as what helps and hopefully, by the end of it, you’ll start to have to some ideas for specific things you might undertake to do (or NOT to do!) during the next week on retreat together…..

“Your work is to discover your work
And then, with all your heart,
To give yourself to it.”
Dhammapada v 166
Trans. Thomas Byrom

So I’m starting by cheating! This talk is about Chapter 8 of the Dhammapada (verses 100 – 115) – “The Thousands”, but the verse I’ve chosen as the title of my talk is actually from Chapter 12 (“The Self”). It’s the last verse of that Chapter and I’ve been very taken with it all this term, since I first came across it (which was actually on a postcard pinned to a notice-board in the studio of an artist friend of mine). It feels like it sums part of the “why” I like the “Thousands”… but I’m not going to spell that out now, I’ll just leave it hanging as a question which will hopefully be answered by the time we get to the end.

I knew, as soon as we started to talk about having the Dhammapada as the theme for this term that this was the Chapter I’d like to explore. It’s always been my favourite. When I worked in the Wholefood Shop in Croydon, each morning we’d have a morning meeting, salute the shrine, read some Dharma… I remember often hearing this verse and every time feeling inspired by it.

Why I like it

So why do I like it.

First of all, I like it because it gives me hope. I have spent a lot of the last 15 years that I’ve been practising fretting about all the time I waste, how I’m not “doing enough” and wishing to be more wholeheartedly engaged. Why I feel that way says a lot about my conditioning and habits… and I won’t go into that now!

What this chapter says to me, to put it very simply, is “don’t focus on/fret about what you haven’t done, don’t spend time dwelling on time you’ve wasted… focus and make the most of the times when you are engaged, inspired, able to be wholehearted in your practice.”

Years before I became a Buddhist I had quite a fascination with time management and how our attitudes towards our time (and our energy!) are profoundly affected by how we think about them. Back in about 1990 I was reading a book on time management by John Adair and I came across the “Pareto Principle”. Simply put, it states that we get 80% of our “results” from 20% of our effort… It was something studied in the workplace, looking, for example, at teams of Sales People – 20% of them would often bring in about 80% of the business. And intuitively I could sense that this was probably also true in terms of my own time and energy – that actually a lot of what I’d achieved (eg in studying for my degree) was probably done in about 20% of my time! In the past I’d always fretted about the 80% of time I’d “wasted”, but coming across the Pareto Principle (and later, the Dhammapada’s “Thousands”) I began to see that I could take a different attitude to that.

At this point I should mention that I’m a poet and not a mathematician, so it bothers me not one jot that the Pareto Principle compares 80% with 20% whilst the Dhammapada compares “one day” with “a thousand years”…. what interests me is the principle underneath – never mind about the “other” 80% of your time or the 99 years and 364 days… “Better” is the “single day” that “brings peace” – focus on that. (I’ll unpack the meaning of “better” in a bit, by the way.)

Meanwhile, there are two more reasons (both poetic) why I like the “thousands” – when I was reflecting on and reading the verse at the weekend I realise that it reads a bit like a “list poem” – a fairly well-known form of modern poetry which Ananda and Manjusvara teach sometimes on their Wolf at the Door writing workshops (indeed, Ananda has a whole book about list poems)…. I’ve always liked lists (it’s one of the reasons I’m a Buddhist – that and tea-drinking…) and reflecting on why that might be I realised that, at least in part, it’s to do with the way that a list sounds quite like an incantation or almost a spell. There’s something slightly mesmerising about the repetition… a bit like in music, Bach, say, when you get a gorgeous cycle of notes that repeats harmonically, but within that one bit changes and it evolves… well, a list poem is like that. The “thousands” chapter is like that.

Mentioning the words “incantation and spell” makes me think of magic, I also wanted to say something about the (slightly) magical process of writing this talk. I’ve been mulling over in my mind all term, but it’s only been this last weekend that I’ve sat down to look at it systematically…and when I did, it was a bit like pulling a rabbit out of a hat…. As I say, I’ve always loved and been fascinated by this chapter in a slightly woolly-poetic-intuitive way, without really ever delving very deeply or systematically into it. When I did start to look more fully at these 15 short verses, lo! I found that hidden in it (well, not that hidden, but I really hadn’t been looking that hard!) is the whole of the Noble Eightfold Path AND the Threefold Way!

So, I’ve begun by telling you why I like the thousands. Why my heart engages with it….what fascinates me about it. I like it, I enjoy it… now I’ll say a bit about how I’ve gone on to engage with it for the purpose of writing this talk and to tell you about the rabbit I found inside, as well as the hat…..

How I’ve approached this talk

One of the things Bhante has always been very “hot” on is our use of language. As you know, he’s made his own translation of the Dhammapada, the better to bring out the meaning of the words in the light of his own understanding of the Dharma. In many, many of his talks he takes time to clarify exactly what is meant by a particular word – and it’s not just semantics. If “our lives are the creation of our minds” the words we pick up can be like the tools we shape them with… and it’s good to be clear exactly what tools we’re using and how, and not use them indiscriminately.

So, the word that’s repeated again and again in this Chapter is “better”… I asked my friend, Dhivan (who’s a Pali scholar) what the actual word is that’s translated as “better” and what it really means. He said:

“the word translated ‘better’ in the thousands chapter in the Dhammapda is ‘seyya”, meaning “better” or “good” or “happiness”. So in Pali, the verses are slightly more powerful than when translated into English because the word has a wider range. For instance, taking verse 100 (the first one) it literally means,

“than a thousand speeches
which are composed of pointless/meaningless words
one valuable/meaningful word is better/is excellent
which having heard one is calmed.” [repeat]

So not only is one meaningful word better than a thousand meaningless words, but it is excellent and good in itself. There is the same positive ambiguity in the word “seyyo” in many of the verses….”

Next I decided to look at a number of different translations in order to get a “poet’s eye view” of what was being said in each of the verses… because “factual truth” is not everything in the spiritual life… poetic truth is also important.

I looked at:

Juan Mascaro- – the Penguin translation and the one I am most familiar with. Interestingly it’s a translation from Pali into English by a Spanish man….

then I looked at Bhante’s translation (and was interested to notice that he introduces a fair few extra words (in square brackets) to make clear the context in which the Buddha was speaking these verses, ie in the context of Hindu, Vedic culture… that the Dhamma at the time is being spoken into a culture where vedic verses and practises are the familiar norm.

I also looked at Buddharakkhita’s (fairly literal translation) published by the Maha Bodhi Society in Bangalora – I like this version as it has a parallel pali text on the left-hand page, so you can get an idea of what the actual original pali word was, which has helped in getting a sense of the overall structure of this chapter.

then I looked at the translation in the Shambala pocket classics edition by Thomas Byrom (as recommended by Jvalamalini) – I like the translation for its poetic quality (and there’s a delightful introduction by Ram Dass evoking how it would be to hear the Dhammapada if you’d been walking across India for weeks trying to track down the Buddha before you heard it….). There are some bits where this translation is loose to the point of being a bit-misleading, but there’s a lot that’s good about it – not least the verse I chose as the title for this talk!

and finally I looked at a “rendering” of the Dhammapada by Ajahn Munindo, a friend of Dhivan’s who’s a monk at the Aruna Ratnagiri Monastery in Northumberland. This is not a literal translation, but a “Dhammapada for reflection” that “aims to communicate the living spirit of the text, unencumbered by rigid adherence to formal exactness”. In the introduction to this edition, Dhivan writes:

“The book that you hold in your hands is a sparkling basket of light, full of illumination of the human situation”

(My only reason for quoting this is gratuitous pleasure… I think it’s such a fantastic image that I wanted to share it – and also, it’s not always how we see the Dhammapada…!)

So I looked at these five translations (and the key pali words) and compared what they had to say about each verse and then, inspired by Sagaravajra’s talk a few weeks ago, I began to look at the structure of the Chapter to see what, if anything, that might reveal. This wasn’t something I’d probably have thought of doing, but I was very taken with the way that he saw a whole “mandala” structure in the Chapter 9 (Evil) (I think it was that Chapter!).

The Structure and the Teachings Contained in the Chapter

What became fascinatingly clear, when I started to look more closely into how this Chapter was put together, is what a huge amount of Dharma there is packed into it! Now that might sound daft… but let’s go through and look at it systematically, a bit at a time:

100 Better than a thousand meaningless words collected together (in the Vedic oral tradition) is a single meaningful word on hearing which one becomes tranquil.
101 Better than a thousand meaningless verses collected together (in the Vedic oral tradition) is one (meaningful) line of verse on hearing which one becomes tranquil.
102 Though one should recite a hundred (Vedic) verses, (verses) without meaining, better is one line (or: a single word) of Dhamma on hearing which one becomes tranquil.

It seems to me that these verses relate to the experience of “Perfect Vision” (in terms of the Noble Eightfold Path) or, we could say, to the “Fourth Sight” (the sight of the holy man) in the Four Noble Truths. Either way, we can see them as relating to a moment of true contact with the Dharma – and I imagine that many if not all of us can remember the significance of the moment in our lives at which we really first heard the Dharma, the point where some of it really “went it”… and that that single moment stands out amidst the thousands of other moments which surrounded it….

The next three verses bring in the “battle” imagery and are, I think, about helping us to establish what the “real battleground” of the spiritual life is:

103 Though one should conquer in battle thousands upon thousands of men, yet he who conquers himself is (truly) the greatest in battle.
104 It is indeed better to conquer oneself than to conquer other people. Of a man who has subdued himself, (and) who lives (self-)controlled,
105 neither a god nor a celestial musician (gandhabba), nor Mara together with Brahma, can undo the victory – the victory of a person who is (subdued and controlled) like that.

Now. I’m going to take us on a bit of a diversion at this point to explore what the point is that’s really being made here. I think it links straight back to the very first verse of the Dhammapada – “our life is the creation of our mind” (v1, Mascaro translation). Just as we can get distracted from engaging with our spiritual practice by fretting about all the time we’ve already wasted, we can also get distracted by blaming other people (or engaging in conflict with them)… by feeling that “if only we can get so-and-so to do or be some different way, then we’ll be able to get on with our practice”. This is a red herring. We need to name and recognise that we are our own biggest distractions in the spiritual life.

There’s a wonderful essay by the poet Mary Oliver called “Of Power and Time” and in it, she’s explicitly talking about the process of writing, but she makes the point that what she’s saying applies to “creative work” of any kind – and that includes spiritual practice. She’s talking about how easy it is to get distracted from the task in hand, and she says:

“But just as often, if not more often, the interruption comes not from another but from the self itself, or some other self within the self, that whistles and pounds upon the door panels and tosses itself, splashing, into the pond of meditation. And what does it have to say? That you must phone the dentist, that you are out of mustard, that your uncle Stanley’s birthday is two weeks hence. You react, of course. Then you return to your work, only to find that the imps of idea have fled back into the mist.

It is this internal force – this intimate interrupter – whose tracks I would follow. ” (Blue Pastures, p 1)

As I say, she’s talking specifically about the process of writing and distracting herself from writing, but it’s easy to see how this applies, for instance, to sitting on the meditation (and being able to stay there are not get distracted and get up and do something “more important”).

At the end of the essay, she evokes that wonderful feeling, when one has broken free of the gravitational pull of teeth, mustard and Uncle Stanley’s birthday….

“On any morning or afternoon, serious interruptions to work, therefore, are never the inopportune, cheerful, even loving interruptions which come to us from another. Serious interruptions come from the watchful eye we cast upon ourselves. There is the blow that knocks the arrow from its mark! There is the drag we throw over our own intentions. There is the interruption to be feared.

It is six A.M., and I am working. I am absent-minded, reckless, heedless of social obligations, etc. It is as it must be. The tire goes flat, the tooth falls out, there will be hundred meals without mustard. The poem gets written. I have wrestled with the angel and I am stained with light and I have no shame. Neither do I have guilt. My responsibility is not to the ordinary, or the timely. It does not include mustard, or teeth. It does not extend to the lost button, or the beans in the pot. My loyalty is to the inner vision, whenever and howsoever it may arrive. If I have a meeting with you at three o’clock, rejoice if I am late. Rejoice even more if I do not arrive at all.” (Blue Pastures, p7).

I hope this conveys something of the spirit that I feel connects the “battle” verses of the Dhammapada and the work of Mary Oliver… There’s a quote from Thoreau – a suitably battle-ish quote – where he talks about following the beat of “a different drum”. I think these two first “chunks” of the “Thousands” Chapter are in the same territory… they talk about hearing the Dharma and then “conquering” oneself sufficiently to be able to follow the “beat” of that drum, not getting distracted by hearing (or reciting) irrelevant verses or unnecessary battles with other people….

The next “chunk” of verses relate to reverence and worship and the importance of having the right object of devotion – and again, there is reference to the Hindu/Vedic traditions from which the Buddha was endeavouring to help his followers to be free.

106 If month after month for a hundred years one should offer sacrifices by the thousand, and if for a single moment one should venerate a (spiritually) developed person, better is that (act of) veneration than the hundred years (of sacrifices).
107 Though one should tend the sacred fire in the forest for a hundred years, yet if he venerates a (spiritually) developed person even for a moment, better is that (act of) veneration than the hundred years (spent tending the sacred fire).
108 Whatever oblations and sacrifices one might offer here on earth in the course of the whole (Vedic) religious year, seeking to gain merit thereby, all that is not a quarter (as meritorious) as paying respect to those who live uprightly, which is (indeed) excellent.
109 For him who is of a reverential disposition, four things constantly increase: life, beauty, happiness, and strength.

Reflecting on this, I feel the verses are about positive emotion – the second limb of the Noble Eightfold Path. It’s making a distinction between the common (Vedic) practices at the time of making offerings with the motivation of gaining merit and the much more positive consequences of veneration, paying respect and having a reverential disposition to “those who live uprightly” (ie practice the Dharma) simply because they are “worthy of respect”. The list of the “benefits” which result from such other-regarding reverence at the end reminds of that list of benefits which result from practising the “metta bhavana” – another form of cultivating positive emotion. We can see this verse as reminding us that worship and reverence are practices whose aim is to enable us to develop positive emotion, to change ourselves rather than as some semi-superstitious rite carried out in the hope of “gaining merit”.

In verses 110 and 111 we have the whole of the 3- fold path(!)…

110 Though one should live a hundred years unethical and unintegrated (asamahita), better is one single day lived ethically [that’s ETHICS!] and absorbed (in higher meditative states). [that’s MEDITATION]
111 Though one should live a hundred years of evil understanding and unintegrated, better is one single day lived possessed of wisdom and absorbed (in higher meditative states). [that’s WISDOM]

So in verse 110 with its mention of ethics, we cover the 3rd to the 5th stages of the Noble Eightfold Path – perfect speech, perfect action and perfect livelihood. I won’t go into this in more detail here, now, but move on to verse

112 Better than a hundred years lived lazily and with inferior energy is one single day lived with energy aroused and fortified.

And so this verse is about cultivating energy or virya which connects with Perfect Effort – the 6th limb (or stage) of the Noble Eightfold path. As I said earlier, I find this chapter inspiring when I’m getting despondent about wasted time and energy and so I can take it quite literally.. that OK, I might have wasted an awful lot of days “living lazily and with inferior energy”, but hey, I’ve (finally) noticed and now I can give my full attention and energy to making the most of the next day or bit of time – and who knows what good might result from that. (I can’t resist repeating here – as I so often do – my favourite quote from Bhante’s teacher Dhardo Rimpoche – “If you work hard, in the right way, the effect will spread like light.” I guess that’s kind of how I feel about the “seizing the moment” feel that this verse gives me…OK, I’ve wasted time, but I’ve still got this very next moment and who knows what might result from this if I can only apply myself “with energy aroused and fortified”….)

The final three verses cover the last two stages of the Noble Eightfold Path and the culmination of the spiritual life:

113 Better than a hundred years lived unaware of the rise and fall (of conditioned things) is one single day lived aware of the rise and fall (of conditioned things).

So the focus of this verse is awareness or recollection, often translated as ‘mindfulness’. The fore-going stages or limbs of the path have been about establishing a basis of perfect vision, emotion, ethics and energy), which can then enable us to turn our minds (really to turn our minds) to conditionality, to pratitya-samutpada, the central teaching of the Buddha – that all things arise in dependence on conditions and, in the absence of those conditions, cease. I think it’s worth re-stating here an important point which Bhante makes about the Noble Eightfold Path – and that is that it isn’t a linear path. In pali it’s the arya astangika marga. “Arya” means noble, “asta” means “eight” and “anga” means limb. (“Marga” is way or path). The importance of this word “anga”, meaning limb, is that it opens up idea that actually it’s much more like growing a tree with 8 limbs, rather than plodding in a step by step way from one to the next, leaving each behind as one “progresses”. As I was writing this, I was thinking “Oh yes, and how our practice goes is that we do get little bits of each “limb” at different times…” and that made me think about how that ties in with what I see as the overarching “message” of this Chapter of the Dhammapada, which is “don’t discount small amounts of time, energy, little glimpses of the truth and little acts of kindness”. Each moment we turn our minds to the Dharma, each time we practice the ethical precepts, each time we become just that little bit more aware, we’re adding droplets of practice, tiny bits to each of the “limbs” of the Noble Eightfold path.. and it’s all cumulative. It all has an effect. None of it is ever wasted. So there’s no need to spend precious time berating ourselves for all that we don’t do or haven’t done…

Which brings us to the final two verses:

114 Better than a hundred years lived unaware of the Deathless State is one single day lived aware of the Deathless State
115 Better than a hundred years lived unaware of the Supreme Truth (dhammana uttamam) is one single day lived aware of the Supreme Truth.

The final limb of the 8-fold path is samyak-samadhi – which Bhante says is only inadequately translated by the phrase “perfect meditation”. He doesn’t offer a particular alternative, saying “As a general rule the more advanced the stage of spiritual development, the less there is to say about it.” But he does tell us that the word “samadhi” literally means the state of being firmly fixed or established. So I think we can understand these last two verses to be talking about us gradually having our awareness firmly fixed or established in the state of the deathless or supreme truth.

There’s a whole other talk about what that might be (or even a lifetime of talks!), so instead I’m going to end with a poem which is a poetic leap connecting with what, for me is the spirit of this Chapter of the Dhammapada – which in essence is to say “make the most of every moment you can (but don’t fret about the ones that get away).

Before I read it I just wanted to express my gratitude for having the opportunity to give this talk – I’ve learnt such a lot in the process. I’d like to thank Saccanama for suggesting that we study the Dhammapada this term. I’d like to thank Sagaravajra for inspiring me (with his talk – he doesn’t know he’s done it (yet)!) to dig a bit more deeply into what’s going on in this Chapter and I’d like to thank Bhante for dreaming up the Order and the Movement as a context in which I feel I can live my life out more fully than I would ever have imagined possible.

/continued over

When Death Comes

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, towards silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it’s over I want to say; all my life
I was a bride, married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing, and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

Mary Oliver

Satyalila
Bristol
23/11/08

One important aspect of the long Akasavana retreat last summer which I haven’t yet written about is The Story of the Fankle. Fankle is a wonderful Scots word, introduced to me by Jayavardhini. It doesn’t appear in the Concise Oxford Dictionary, but its meaning is “to get in a mental knot” about something. In Buddhist terms it describes “propantia” or mental proliferation – something with which I am, sadly, very familiar! During the course of the retreat I reflected on this wonderful word, fankle, and found it very useful in my practice. Time and again I found myself “getting into a fankle” about something… only to spot it and then try, patiently and kindly, to unravel it.

We had a special Vajrasattva puja one day (led by Jayavardhini and Nagarakshita) and I realised that this was a great opportunity to ritually let go of my habit of getting into a fankle. Not only is Vajrasattva the figure on which I meditate, he is also associated with purification, so I decided to make a fankle to offer at this puja. As soon as I had the idea, the visual image of the Fankle appreared fully-formed in my mind. It involved a lot of rusty, twisted wire and rainbow coloured wool (which I had, of course brought with me on the retreat…) At the “heart” of the Fankle was a glass pebble (symbolising my “essential diamond nature which is the essence of sunyata” – ie the idea that we are intrinsically pure, but that that purity becomes obscured by defilements – which in this case are tangled thinking, represented by the wool and wire) I wrapped the glass pebble in a sheet of paper coloured with turquoise scribbly writing (not unlike the original draft of this story!) Then I wrapped the paper bundle about with rainbow wool which gradually wove in and out of the big tangle of rusty wire about 10” by 12” (left over from the building work). Round and round the tangled web of the rainbow wool wove, in and out, sometimes round and round and round one single strand of wire which caught my attention – like thoughts harping on a single subject.

Fankle 1

The Fankle was done and the next afternoon I carried it ceremoniously into the silent shrine room for the special puja. Eyes glanced, askance. “What’s that?!” Someone whispered. “A Fankle!” I replied – and the silence dissolved into muffled snorts and giggles.

After the puja it seemed that the Fankle culd not just be thrown away – tho’ I was taken with the idea of hurling from the terrace outside the shrineroom and naming the place “Fankle’s End” (“Dun Fanklin’” being another possibility…or a name for a future abode.) However, I could not, in all conscience, hurl my “essential diamond nature” (still at the heart of the Fankle) away over a cliff. (And anyway, I pretty soon realised it would have landed in Ratnadharini’s tent, a couple of terraces below!)

So a place had to be found for it. Earlier in the retreat, when I’d been fretting about (my lack of) contentment, I’d had a good talk with Padmasuri sitting on high on a rocky outcrop above the Shrine Room. As I mentioned in another post, we’d rather taken to naming bits of the landscape, so she and I decided that this, henceforth, would be Contentment Rock. Where-else, therefore, could the Fankle possibly come to rest but on Contentment Rock? And so it was that ritually, on Dharma Day (on the blue moon of July) that Jayavardhini and I (with Vijayasri in attenance) carried the Fankle from the shrine room and laid it on Contentment Rock, thereby creating “Fankle’s Rest”…..

Fankle \"

Fankle 3

Fankle 4

Fankle 6

Aranya

It was breathtaking. The retreat house stands on a kind of promontory of land at about 920 metres, with 300 metre cliffs behind and a vast open vista of mountains all around, including the spectacular and monumental Masmut – seemingly one enormous rock the size of a small mountain. When I walked from the double-height porch into the equally high-ceilinged dinig room with pristine white walls, huge woodburning stove and blue-stained tables made from recycled doors, my jaw literally dropped. The retreat centre building was stunning inside as well as out. The architect had transformed the ruined farm-house and barn into a spacious and aesthetically pleasing space, utilising features such as door and window-lintels to bring character and contrast to the simple white walls and concrete floors.

The living conditions at Akasavana are basic. We only had hot running water in the kitchen and there was no heating in the bedrooms downstairs. We went to bed in our thermals & woolly hats (when we got there, in April) with hot water water bottles heated by pans on the woodburning stove in the sitting room. We had calor gas for cooking and heating water. Lighting and the water pump from the spring is powered by solar power and we used rainwater to wash our clothes. Water in scarce in Spain, so we were told at the start that our daily ration was two buckets each, to include washing self and clothes and flushing the loo. (Drinking water was fetched in big containers directly from the spring a couple of terraces further down the hillside.)

All our un-compostable rubbish had to be carried out by the 4×4 which had brought us and would bring our food supplies up the 8 km dirt track from the village, Penarroya de Tastavins. WE had a very hard-working support team of 3 women for the retreat (Padmadharini, Santasiddhi and Alokada) and they lived in the community house a mile or two away on our second plot of land. The total area owned by the Retreat Centre is 108 hectares – a satisfyingly significant number for Buddhists! (It’s the traditional number of beads on a mala, for counting mantras.)

It took weeks to grown accustomed to the scale of the place – look across the valley and we owned that hill, too! Walk up to the top of “our track” and it was a good ten minutes walk. Climb onto the lower ledge of cliff some 120 metres about the retreat house and that, too, is land we own, where maybe one day we could create a solitary retreat facility. It was hard to take in that we actually own this stunningly beautify, amazingly remote place. After six weeks I heard a dog barking and realised it was the first intrusive sound I had heard since we got there!

Being the first retreat there, we had the delight in participating in “mythologizing” the land. Rituals had been done from when the land was first acquired to connect with the local spirits of the place. Now we also began to create shrines to Buddhas, marking out the cardinal points with flags and cairns for the 5 dhyani Buddhas, creating a ritual space dedicated to Vajrasattva in a beautifully arched cave we own further down the mountain and even just simply naming local tracks. Not long after we arrived, wild peonies were spotted growing in the middle of the track leading up behind the retreat centre ridge. For the rest of the retreat this became known as the Peony Path.

It wasn’t until I’d been there about a month that I scrambled with Vijayasri up onto the topmost of the cliffs above our land and looked down, getting a clear picture of the lie of the land and its extent. The way our boundaries run down the shoulders of the hills, the clear path made by our new vehicle-track to the shrine-room building, a three-minute walk along a narrow short-cut path from the retreat house.

That’s a lot of words about the physical environment of the place (without mentioning the ground itself, full of fossils and crystals, the goats, the griffin vultures, the rosemary, thyme, lavender and wild roses, as well as the ever-changing mass of wild flowers.) But I guess the physical environment was a major conditioning factor right through the retreat. It’s a challenging place to live: not only remote, it’s an easy place to fall over, even just walking along on the lose stones of one of the tracks. There are scorpions to be found under rocks (admittedly I only saw one, when it was specially pointed out!) and two people saw hooded vipers. A harmless but beautiful green-blue southern smooth snake made its way into one of the bedrooms through an open door and coiled under a bed, until gently removed by Anilasri….

For about ten years I’d been wanting to take part in a long retreat – six weeks or 3 months. I think it was a part of my profound curiosity about how much it is possible for one’s mind, one’s way of experiencing the world to change through spiritual practice if one puts oneself wholeheartedly into conducive conditions.. And I’d always been attracted to quite “full on” ways of practising. In 1996-7 I left my partner, home, mortgage and career to go and live and work with a group of friends running a Buddhist Wholefood Shop in Croydon. It often wasn’t easy, but it certainly gave me a taste for how different my experience of myself – and life – could be in supportive conditions for practice.

I’d always thought my opportunity for a long retreat would come with ordination. For quite a few years, around the time I was hoping to be ordained, there were 7 week ordination retreats held in Tuscany, in an old monastery called Il Convento. However, it didn’t work out like that. When I received my invitation to be ordained in 2005, the Tuscany retreats had just come to and end and our new women’s ordination retreat centre in the mountains of Spain was not yet operational. So my ordination retreat was 2 weeks at Tiratanaloka in the Brecon Beacons. There were many great things about that – not least, being ordained alongside my lovely friend Kamalamani, with (whom I’m now in a Chapter) and being able to have lots of friends and family there. But it wasn’t the long retreat I was still yearning for.

My Private Preceptor (ie the person who ordained me) was Vijayasri and she spent 3 years in Spain working on the building project at the new retreat Centre. Not infrequently did I fantasize about bveing able to take part in the first retreat there – but it was be an ordination retreat, and when it was finally scheduled for April – July 2007, I was already ordained! I harboured a bit of a fantasy about sneaking onto the retreat as a stow-away and even emailed Ratnadharini (the Retreat Leader and my Public Preceptor) to say this. Not long after, I got an email back from her saying they thought they’d have spare places on the retreat and how great it would be if I could join them.

I spend a week or two after this invitation trying quite hard to be Sensible. Only the year before I’d found a 4-day-a-week job round the corning with a little charity that promotes cycling. I knew that if I decided to go on the retreat I’d need to give up the job. I tried quite hard to encourage myself to practise contentment with the conditions I’d already set up. But the idea wouldn’t go away. One Friday morning (my day off) I woke up and was drinking tea in bed, musing. Suddenly it felt like the alignment of the sun with the entrance of a chamber usually shrouded in darkness. I saw the complete uniqueness of the opportunity I was being offered – three whole months on retreat with two of the most important people in my life…Not just the fulfilment of a long-held dream, but, in the context of my practice – a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Knowing that I can be somewhat impulsive at times, I decided to seek the counsel of my friends, in case I was hurling off into some intoxicated orbit, from which I might make a painful and undignified landing at some point in the future. I thought they might “hold onto my ankles” to stop me floating off on a fantasy, like Winnie-the-Pooh, clutching his balloon… However, I could find no-one who did not think it a good idea. It was decided.

I bought my plane ticket the next day, Saturday and on the Monday resigned my job. I had 5 or 6 weeks in which to sort things out, sublet my flat and accumulate the necessary head torch, mosquito net, notebooks, sun hat and suitable footwear for the adventure. An added bonus to going on the retreat was that the delightful woman formerly-known-as Jo Howes (now Samasuri) was to be ordained on it. We made part of the journey together, arriving at the new retreat centre just ast the kitchen workstops had been fitted and the notice boards screwed to the wall (the latter by Ratnadharini, who was also leading the retreat!).

My friend, Alokada, asked me to give this short talk at the National Order Weekend at Padmaloka in December 2006. “Time and Energy” is definitely one of my “themes” or “things” and another friend, Mokshadakini, asked me, the day before, how I felt about giving a talk on something I’ve got in a pickle with so much with over the years – and lately in particular. I pondered this and it occurred to me that there would be many friends in the room when I gave the talk who had helped me wrestle with this.. ie how to do all I aspire to do, without “overdoing” it. (I actually counted up about 12 people present who fell into this category!) I pondered the question quite a bit when I should have been meditating and again, later, as I circumnambulated Dhardo Rimpoche’s stupa outside the shrine room. In the end a word came to me. It was “unrepentent”… and then a wonderful quote from Mary Oliver (who was actually writing about her engagement with poetry) came to mind. The quote was “I have wrestled with the angel and I am stained with light and I have no shame.” So I guess this is a talk on work that is very much still in progress and will be.

In preparing the talk, I came across a mitra project on this very theme which I did 10 years ago and in it, there was this quote…

“Philosophers have explained space. They have not explained time. It is the inexplicable raw material of everything. With it, all is possible; without it, nothing. The supply of time is truly a daily miracle, an affair truly astonishing when one examines it. You wake up in the morning, and lo! your purse is magically filled with 24 hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life! It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. A highly singular commodity, showered upon you in a manner as singular as the commodity itself!
For remark! No one can take it from you. It is unstealable. And no one receives either more or less than you receive.
Talk about an ideal democracy! In the realm of time there is no aristocracy of wealth, and no aristocracy of intellect. Genius is not rewarded by even an extra hour a day. And there is no punishment. Waste your infinitely precious commodity as much as you will, and the supply will never be withheld from you… Moreover, you cannot draw on the future. Impossible to get into debt! You can only waste the passing moment. You cannot waste tomorrow; it is kept for you. You cannot waste the next hour; it is kept for you.”

This was the famous novelist Arnold Bennett writing in 1908 in his little book “How to live on 24 hours a day” which I found in a second hand bookshop on the Isle of Wight in 1995. [I discovered you can download this book for free now from www.gutenberg.org]

If you think about it, we can’t literally GIVE time or energy, but our attitude towards both has a huge effect on our ability to give other things. The nub of this issue, it seems to me, is whether we feel we have enough time and energy to enable us to give the other gifts like fearlessness, education and, of course, the Dharma.

Now, interestingly, in Vision and Transformation Bhante chose to describe “Time, energy and thought” as one of the gifts of the Bodhisattva in place of the more traditional “merit”. I suspect this may have been a shrewd kind of skilful means – however much of a beginner one is, one can relate to the idea of time and energy. Indeed, in our culture we can be perhaps a bit preoccupied with the fact that we don’t have enough of either!

When I did the mitra project on this very theme ten years ago, I seached for quotes on both time and energy from traditional Buddhist sources and also from western culture. It was interesting to find that that there was a lot about energy (and not much about time!) in the traditional sources, whereas it was quite the reverse in, say the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, which gives more than 3 columns-worth of entries for time and a measly 4 entries to energy.

In “Altruism and Individualism in the Spiritual Life” Bhante defines “what can be given” as “whatever we can possess” – which is an interesting one to ponder.

Part of learning to practise effectively is learning what conditions we need to set up in order to enable us to do and be what we aspire to do and be – on, indeed, to give what we aspire to give. Bhante describes generosity as “the basic Buddhist virtue” and has at some point re-cast the bodhisattva vow in terms of “giving what we can, when we can”…..

Time and energy are related. How we think/feel about our time can affect our energy and motivation profoundly. There are so many ways of stretching and expanding our ideas about time and this can have a huge and exciting effect on our energy – and our capacity to GIVE. (Because we can only truly give from a sense of abundance).

The basic and fundamental issue with both time and energy is our tendency to see both as finite. This can be very demotivating!

We need to understand a balance (for practical purposes) between

·(a)the need to recognise that mundane time and energy are finite so that we don’t squander them. (“This opportune moment is extremely hard to meet….”)

and at the same time…

(b)the need to keep in touch with the aspect of eternity and limitless energy which is represented by the transcendental so that we really believe we can transcend ourselves and our limitations (perhaps over many lifetimes!).

I remember years ago Khemajoti telling me a story about Anjali on one of the Tuscany retreats who was very busy that year with quite a number of women to ordain. Khemajoti asked her how she was managing to keep giving so much time and energy to so many women. She said that for half an hour each day she lay on her bed and imagined she was on solitary retreat…. For her, at that time, that seemed to do the trick! That’s stayed with me for years and I find it very inspiring.

I did ask Anjali if she minded me telling you this. She said it was fine, although she doubted that other people would find it that inspiring. She added that this hadn’t really been an ideal situation, but that it was simply a means to respond to what needed doing. (And it occurred to me that many of us might not be here now, were it not for people like Anjali being able to do things like that!)

Thinking more about our relationship to time and I was struck by the irony of the idea of time management. Actually we can’t manage time. It’s kind of obvious, really, but in fact we can only manage ourselves within time… It might seem like semantics but actually I think it’s an important point. (And it’s interesting to speculate about whether there’d be such a good take up if time management courses were called something like self-management or even perhaps self-discipline!)

So the next thing I want to talk about is the fact that it’s never too late!

I feel as if “it’s too late” was one of the mantras of my childhood – not just that whenever I wanted to start a game of Monopoly it was decreed to be “too late in the evening” but a general feeling of “oh, it’s not worth it now” or “maybe another day”. As is often the way with these things from childhood, I’ve railed against this way of seeing things for 30 years and one of the things I love about the Dharma is the sense that it’s NEVER too late, there is always SOMETHING that one can do (or give!) and that this will have an effect.

We could see this as one useful function of the traditional Buddhist teaching on rebirth… that actually we have lifetimes and lifetimes in which to practise so we needn’t worry, from that point of view about running out of time if we are practising wholeheartedly and creating the conditions for a positive rebirth. We’re not going to run out road… if we just keep practising in the right way, more and more of it will roll out in front of us. So in that sense, there is no shortage of time.

Another perspective on “it’s never too late” is that passage from the Dhammapada (Ch 8 (The Thousands) v 112)….

Better it is to live one day strenuous and resolute than to live a hundred years sluggish and dissipated.

or Bhante’s translation:

Better than a hundred years lived lazily and with inferior energy is one single day lived with energy aroused and fortified.

I think that something that profoundly affects our ability to give is a feeling that “it’s not really worth it” or “it won’t make that much difference”…. all those demotivating things which make a thousand or ten thousand of us all keep our pound coins in our pockets whereas one of from each of us could have a significant effect if we put them all together.

But I seem to have strayed into the language of money (again!) and my brief was time and energy. So I’ve quote the Dhammapada and now I want to quote something from a very contemporary, management-speak source, which is another thing I really love and find very motivating (and because we’re Western Buddhists we can have both simultaneously!)

It’s called the Pareto Principle – or the 80/20 rule and many of you are probably familiar with it. Pareto was an economist and he found that it had been proven time and again, in all sorts of business situations, that 80% of our result comes from 20% of our time and efforts. I find that hugely motivating. Rather than fretting about all those hours and hours in which I might have been constructive, engaged and generous, but was not, I can, instead, focus my energies on at least getting my act together for 20% of the time. If I can really do that THEN I can still have a big effect. There is always something we can do, always some way we can give. Even if we think it’s too late and we’ve not much to give. Even if it’s a simple thank you…

When I was part of the team running the wholefood shop in Croydon we decided one year to send out thank you cards to everyone who’d helped us out during the year as a volunteers. There was one person who’d come in just once and done a couple of hours to help us out one lunchtime. We wrote her a thank you card. As a result of this she got back in touch with us and came and helped out pretty much EVERY Saturday lunchtime for the next year – and at that time we really needed that help. So the fact that we put some time and energy into saying “thank you” had a disproportionately positive result for us. In return, Jane was very generous to us volunteering every Saturday lunchtime, even tho’ she worked full time all week.

A year or two later she was still volunteering but then for various reasons needed to leave her job. As a result of her volunteering, she ended up working full time for a whole year or two in the shop at a time when she really needed work… (and the shop really needed staff!)

So to recap. As I said at the start, it’s a bit ironic but if you look at it literally then we can’t actually given ANYONE time or energy. But on the other hand if we don’t feel we have enough of both, it can be almost impossible to give anything many other things.

I wanted to end with my favourite quote from Dhardo Rimpoche:

“People feel that life is short. Because of this, instead of working for others, they just try to acquire wealth for themselves. If we live in this way, we become isolated. Our lives become like bubbles on the surface of water. But people can be inspired by action. [Which we might understand in this context as energy, or virya] If they see something is happening, they start to give… If you work hard in the right way, it will spread like light.”

Satyalila
November 2006

This is the unedited script of a talk which I wrote for a beginners’ course which Bahiya ran at the Bristol Buddhist Centre in September 2006

It’s been great to be given the opportunity to look again – and look further – into this really fundamental teaching of the Buddha. One of the things I love about spiritual practise is that you don’t just do something and head on to the next thing…. there is a richness and depth in re-visiting the familiar, going deeper with it and understanding with more and more of oneself over a period of years.

Last week Kamalamani talked about the Four Noble Truths. The Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path are inextricably linked:

There is suffering
There is a cause of suffering
There is an end to suffering
There is a way leading to the end of suffering.

Now last week you perhaps began to get a glimpse that on one level the teaching of the Buddha is simple. Very simple. And yet on another level, it’s not simple at all! When you start really to look into what’s being said, what it means for you, when you start really to question for yourself what you are being taught, it’s maybe not so straight forward as you thought. That’s fine! There’s a traditional story from which we have a kind of saying that the teaching of the Buddha is so simple that a child of 3 could understand it, yet an old person of 80 cannot put it into practice.

I’m saying all this by way of preamble because when I talk about the Noble Eightfold Path you will discover right at the start that there are some seeming contradictions. This is a good thing so look out for it and value it. It’s the contradictions and the questions that are like grit in the oyster of our spiritual practice – so I hope you have lots of questions.

Path or Flower?

Now the very first thing to say about the Noble Eightfold Path is that if you just think of it as a path to get you from A to B then you’re missing out. In the original Sanskrit it is called the arya-astangika-marga.
arya means noble or holy
asta means eight
marga means path

but anga actually means limb, member or even shoot.

So if you hear “Noble Eightfold Path” you might get an image – as someone said recently in our study group – of a lovely yellow brick road leading off over the horizon towards enlightenment. Now this can be helpful – I’ve always quite liked the idea of the spiritual life as a journey, but it can also cause problems if one gets too literal with it. At times I’ve got so caught up in the idea of “getting somewhere” on this yellow brick road that I’ve felt like I was battling my way up the north face of the Eiger with gritted teeth. At such times it can be good to remember that there is another way of seeing the so-called Noble Eightfold “Path”, and that is as as flower or tree of which the various petals or limbs gradually unfold until one is, as it were, “blossoming” into enlightenment.

I like the fact that there’s something for everyone here – if you want to see it as a gung-ho, noble quest, striding forth, you can. If you want to see it as gradually cultivating and unfolding yourself and your spiritual qualities, that’s fine too! Across the whole Buddhist World there are people following both approaches – and we could have a whole course just exploring that, and those differences. But what matters is that we are practising, that we are not just sitting round thinking what a good idea all these teachings are, but we’re actually setting out on the path ourself (or cultivating ways to help our own petals flop open!). I think what’s important is to be aware of which of these approaches engages your heart and mind and, if it’s helpful, to use the image as a tool. A final note on this, before I move on the “limbs” themselves, and that is that it may well be that at times your heart is into striding up that mountain and at other times you might need to be tending your flower (ie yourself AS the flower) in its pot.

The Path that is Two Paths

The next thing to say is that actually the Noble Eightfol Path is two paths, not one. I’ll just recap the eight limbs or stages and then explain:

Perfect Vision
Perfect Emotion
Perfect Speech
Perfect Action
Perfect Livelihood
Perfect Effort
Perfect Awareness
Perfect Samadhi

The way it divides into two paths is that the first of the eight, Perfect Vision, is seen as the Path of Vision and the remaining 7 limbs are seen as the Path of Transformation. There’s a lot one could say about this and Sangharakshita’s book, Vision and Transformation, goes into this in some detail.

Sangharakshita says, “Perfect Vision represents the phase of initial spiritual insight and experience, whereas the rest of the Eightfold Path represents the transformation of one’s whole being , in all its heights and depths, in all its aspects, in accordance with that initial insight and experience.”

The Path of Vision

The Path starts for all of us with some kind of Vision, often an experience of suffering or sometimes a seemingly spontaneous glimpse of something profound which inspires us. To return to our images, we might see it as the glimpse of a mountain top towards which we want to move or one could see it as the glimpse of something tiny and embryonic which we sense can unfold into much, much more.

When we say “vision”, it’s not just an intellectual thing. We’re talking about something which goes beyond a dry intellectual understanding – a kind of spark which ignites within us, for whatever reason. The reason we refer to “perfect” vision is that we’re talking about a glimpse of something that is in line with reality, with truth, with the way things really are. Cultivating or treading the Path of Vision is about trying more and more to see things the way they really are, for example recognising that things we often think of permanent are, in fact, impermanent – the job, the house… and especially, of course, people. Clinging to the view that these things are permanent and unchangeable is one of the causes of suffering (the second Noble Truth).

One final thing to say about the Path of Vision is that it isn’t some great lofty thing out there and over there… something that we come to “at some point”. Everyone here is already on the Path of Vision. The fact that you have walked in through the door of the Buddhist Centre, that you have signed up for this 8-week course was motivated by something, some experience, some glimpse, some inspiration. If we’ve time at the end it might be interesting for us to share these experiences, if people would like to.

Path of Transformation – the remaining 7 steps or limbs…

So, we’ve had our glimpse of Perfect Vision, and now we come to the remaining 7 stages of the path.

Perfect Emotion

Perfect Emotion is the second limb of the eight-fold path and the first step on the “path of transformation”. This is very significant. We can’t begin to transform, can’t begin to move along the path unless “our heart is in it”, unless we are emotionally engaged.

How often have you tried to make changes in your life, even on a mundane level and encountered this struggle? eg trying to lose weight, take up exercise or pursue a course of study? We have a great idea and it seems fantastic. Yes! Let’s do it!… and then we fizzle out after a bit.

Sangharakshita says that “For most of us, the central problem of the spiritual life is to find emotional equivalents for our intellectual understanding.”

So how do we engage our hearts as well as our minds? Well, traditionally there are meditation practises which help us to do this. The “Brahma Viharas” or sublime-abodes are a practical way of helping s to cultivate kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. Tonight we’ll be learning the metta Bhavana which is the first of the brahma viharas and the foundation for all the others. So before you go home tonight, you’ll have had at least some taste of how to begin to cultivate Perfect Emotion.

The other very simple way to cultivate Perfect Emotion is to practise dana or generosity. This is one of the basic “Buddhist Virtues” and it’s said that even if one can’t practice meditation, even if one is having difficulty practising ethics, then at least one can give, one can practise generosity. We cannot overestimate how important the transforming effect of this can be.

A final note on Perfect Emotion before we move on, and that concerns ritual. Now for man people the connotation of ritual is “rites and rituals” – a kind of worthy “going through the motions”… (I always think of being at school at having to stand in assembly and say prayers and the only thing I was ever truly aware of at that time was that I always seemed to have a runny nose and I never seemed to have a hankie…. Anyhow. The Buddhist perspective on ritual is that it serves and important role in helping us to develop Perfect Emotion, helping us to engage our hearts as well as our minds. We practise the 7-fold puja (puja means worship), we chant, we build shrines… Now just as I was saying earlier, that some people’s hearts engage with the image of treading a path, others with the image of a flower unfolding, just so with ritual: it doesn’t work for everyone and it’s not obligatory. It’s good not to make a premature decision about this and also to recognise that one’s relationship with it may change over time. But ritual can be a very powerful way to cultivate positive emotion.

Perfect Speech

This brings us to the part of the path or flower which concerns ethics. The week after next, Chittamani is going to talk more about this, but we’ll make a start tonight.

So the first part of ethics that we’re considering is Perfect Speech. Now it’s interesting that speech has a whole limb or petal to itself. It’s not just lumped in with other kinds of ethical behaviour in the next section of the path, which is Perfect Action.

Buddhism recognises what a huge effect speech has on our hearts and minds and so no only does speech have a whole section of the Noble Eightfold Path to itself, it constitutes no less than four of the ten ethical precepts which one takes when one is ordained.

So how can we practise perfect speech? Well, traditionall we look at it both in terms of the negative (what we’re not going to do) and the positive (what we aspire to do). So…. we…

avoid untruthful speech and practise truthful speech
avoid unkind/harsh speech and practise kindly speech
avoid harmful speech and practise helpful speech
avoid disharmonious speech and practise harmonious speech.

Sangharakshita explores this more in his book The Ten Pillars which is all about the 10 ethical precepts and I’m sure Chittamani will say a lot more about this when he’s here.

Perfect Action

So having talked about Perfect Speech we can go to the next step which is Perfect Action, the step of the path concerned with transforming ourselves by ethical action. Now an important thing to say about the Buddhist conception of ethics is that the Buddhist precepts should not be confused with any Christian idea of morality or seen as “laws” or commandments. Buddhist Ethical precepts are not imposed but rather they are often described as “training principles”.

Their significance is not theological (in the sense of obedience to some deity). Their significance is psychological. That is to say, acting unethically (or unskilfully, as we usually say) has an effect on our minds which prevents us from moving forwards on the path, prevents us from unfolding our true spiritual potential.

It’s been said that the ethical precepts describe how an enlightened being would spontaneously act. So observing the precepts helps us to have a glimpse of that. It gives us a taste of what it is like to more away from being motivated by greed, hatred and delusion (about which Simhanada will talk more on week 6 of this course when you get to the Tibetan Wheel of Life).

So what are the ethical precepts? We’ve looked at speech already, which is the fourth of the 5 precepts which are traditionally chanted. One takes a further 5 at ordination, of which 3 relate to speech, but the main list of 5 ethical precepts is as follows:

avoid harming beings cultivate kindness
avoid taking the not-given cultivate generosity
avoid sexual misconduct cultivate stillness, simplicity & contentment
avoid untruthful speech cultivate truthful speech
avoid intoxicants cultivate mindfulness, clear & radiant

Right Livelihood

So we’ve learnt that an important aspect of the Noble Eightfold Path is that our actions (including our speech) have consequences for whether we can progress along the path. The next limb of the path recognises that , if we spend the greater part of the day at work, it has a big effect on us and our ability to practise ethics. It’s great to come to the Buddhist Centre and practise ethics and read Dharma books… but how do we relate this to how most of us spend the best part of our waking hours, ie at work?

The practise of Right Livelihood was stressed by the Buddha and he gave specific teachings about the kinds of occupations which would be unhelpful to people wanting to practise the spiritual life. For example, working in a slaughterhouse would make it impossible to practise the first ethical precept about not harming living beings and so on.

But Right Livelihood (just the like the precepts) isn’t just about avoiding the unskilful. It’s also about cultivating the positive and I love this facet of the path. Work as spiritual practise has always fascinated me and, if you think about it, if we can practise and work at the same time it gives us lots more time. Maybe we sit on our cushions for 30-40 minutes a day, or even an hour or two. But most of us are at work for about 7-8 hours. There’s no time now to go into detail now, but we can bring many facets of our practise, many limbs of the Noble Eightfold Path right into the midst of our everyday life – and also have a very positive effect by doing so. I’ve written an article specifically about this and it’s on my website, which is on the handout I’ve written for tonight.

Phew. So now we’ve explored 5 of the 8 limbs of the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path. So we’ve got 3 to go – but the further along the path you get, the less there is to say, so we won’t be long now!

Perfect Effort

Now I like the teaching on Perfect Effort – probably because I’ve had some very funny ideas about it over the years – especially when I’ve been clinging on by my finger nails on the north face of the Eiger! The spiritual life is an active life and it does need effort, but not just any old effort, Perfect Effort. So there are two things I want to mention in respect of Perfect Effort. One’s a story and one’s a list:

There’s a story about a disciple of the Buddha’s called Sona. …

Parable of the Lute

“Once the Blessed One lived near Rajagaha on Vulture Peak. At that time, while the venerable Sona lived alone and secluded in the Cool Forest, this thought occurred to him:

“Of those disciples of the Blessed One who are energetic, I am one. Yet, my mind has not found freedom.” Now, the Blessed One, perceiving in his own mind the venerable Sona’s thoughts, left Vulture Peak, and, as speedily as a strong man might stretch his bent arm or bend his stretched arm, he appeared in the Cool Forest before the venerable Sona. And he said to the venerable Sona: “Sona, did not this thought arise in your mind:

‘Of those disciples of the Blessed One who are energetic, I am one. Yet, my mind has not found freedom.’”

” Yes, Lord.”

” Tell me, Sona, in earlier days were you not skilled in playing stringed music on a lute?”

” Yes, Lord.”

” And, tell me, Sona, when the strings of that lute were too taut, was then your lute tuneful and easily playable?”

” Certainly not, O Lord.”

” And when the strings of your lute were too loose, was then your lute tuneful and easily playable?”

” Certainly not, O Lord.”

” But when, Sona, the strings of your lute were neither too taut nor too loose, but adjusted to an even pitch, did your lute then have a wonderful sound and was it easily playable?”
“Certainly, O Lord.”

” Similarly, Sona, if energy is applied too strongly, it will lead to restlessness, and if energy is too lax, it will lead to lassitude. Therefore, Sona, keep your energy in balance and balance the Spiritual Faculties and in this way focus your intention.”

” Yes, O Lord,” replied the venerable Sona in assent.

Afterward, the venerable Sona kept his energy balanced behind the Spiritual Faculties, and in this way focused his attention. And the venerable Sona, living alone and secluded, diligent, ardent and resolute, soon realized here and now, through his own direct knowledge, that unequaled goal of the holy life.

So that’s the story of the Lute. The list is a nice practical one about using effort in relation to our mind and what we call our “mental states”. These can either be positive or negative, skilful or unskilful. Obviously the positive ones help us along the path and the negative ones don’t – you’ll perhaps hear more about this when you get to second ring on the Wheel of Life later in the course. There is a traditional teaching called “

    the Four Right Efforts

” which is all about how we work with these different mental states, a bit like looking after a garden, the four efforts are: preventing, eradicating, cultivating or maintaining.

So we prevent the arising of unskilful mental states by guarding the gateways of the senses, by not letting in unskilful or unhelpful thoughts, patterns or habits, just as we prevent weeds from taking hold in a garden or on an allotment by covering the ground in black plastic or old carpet.

We eradicate unskilful mental states by noticing them and not letting them get a hold – a bit like hooking weeds out of the garden, before they’ve had a chance to really take a hold and start producing more seeds and more weeds…

We cultivate positive mental states through the practise of ethics and the metta Bhavana meditation we’ll be doing later, just as we cultivate the flowers we want in our gardens.

And when we’ve got our garden (or our mind) starting to be more how we want it to be, then we don’t just sit back, we have to maintain it and that means carrying on practising, pruning a bit here and there, hooking out the odd intrusive thought or weed and so on.

So that’s the Four Right Efforts: preventing, eradicating, cultivating and maintaining.

Perfect Awareness

The penultimate state of the path is Perfect Awareness, also translated as Perfect Mindfulness, tho’ the literal meaning is something like memory or recollection.

In order to come more and more into line with reality, in to move towards or unfold into our Perfect Vision, we need to be mindful, we need to be aware.

Traditionally there are 4 levels of mindfulness or awarness:

Awareness of Things
Awareness of Self
Awareness of Other People
Awareness of Reality/Truth/The Ultimate

This list of four begins with simply being aware of what we are doing while we are doing it – really noticing the dishes we are washing, the pavement we are walking on. We can gradually become more aware of ourselves – we do this with the mindfulness of breathing, where we gradually more and more aware of our breath. Just as in the metta Bhavana meditation, we can then extend this awareness out to other people and, ultimately, to reality itself.

Perfect Samadhi

This brings us right to the last Noble Truth which is Perfect Samadhi, a difficult word to translate. It’s sometimes translated as “Perfect Meditation” but that doesn’t quite do it, really. Literally it means “the state of being firmly fixed or established” either in terms of being concentrated on a single object, or more profoundly, that one’s whole being is established in a certain mode of consciousness or awareness in the sense of enlightenment or Buddhahood.

Sangharakshita talks more of this in “Vision and Transformation” but I suspect that we’ve probably had enough detail for one night. Let’s just say that in a way Perfect Samadhi might represent one of the peaks of the mountain we glimpsed at the beginning, but represents reaching there, rather that seeing it from a distance.

However, the story doesn’t end there. As I said at the beginning, spiritual practise isn’t a case of simply having a vision and getting from A to B as a one-off, linear activity. So let’s assume we get to a point of practising Perfect Samadhi. What do we see? Well, just like climbing a mountain, we get to that peak and look out, only to discover that actually the real mountain still lies ahead of us, we get a different glimpse of what Perfect Vision really is and so we have no choice but to set forth again on the path, to unfold the flower more and more deeply to allow our own natural purity and Buddha nature to unfold.

Recommended Reading:
Vision and Transformation – Sangharakshita
The Ten Pillars – Sangharakshita
The Path with Heart – Jack Kornfield
After the Ecstasy the Laundry – Jack Kornfield

Satyalila – September 2006

In his book, “After the Ecstasy the Laundry” Jack Kornfield coined (or used) this phrase to describe the joys and challenges of the spiritual life. I was asked to contribute an article to the Bristol Buddhist Centre Newsletter about my experiences of the “laundry” that followed the “ecstasy” of ordination into the Western Buddhist Order last year. This is the full-length version of what I wrote.

For me, being ordained into the Western Buddhist Order in June 2005 was the culmination of a 10 year process which began one afternoon in June 1995 when I sat on a home-made, green painted bench at our Rivendell Retreat Centre in Sussex. It was in the middle of a short retreat with Saramati called “Touching Earth” – a retreat looking at the basics of Buddhism and the loftiest of Buddhist aspirations alongside our current-day environmental crisis and in the context of the history of western philosophy and culture(!) I loved it. It opened up and connected so many aspects of my heart-mind’s passionate interests, concerns and longings that I knew I had found, in Sangharakshita’s translation of the Dharma as explained by Saramati, the path I needed to follow. I wanted to join the Order which Sangharakshita founded because I sensed that it was a unique context in which to explore and unfold everything I had ever aspired to be and to do.

I have started there because, in a sense, this was the first ‘ecstasy” of the ordination process for me: a moment of ‘vision’ which was followed by 10 years of ‘transformation’ – working slowly towards a glimpsed possibility. * The language of striving towards a goal in our spiritual life is pretty unfashionable in many quarters of the Movement at present, but I still relate to it, albeit much more lightly than I have done in the past. It has been abhorrent to me, myself, at various points along the way, too. With the advice and support of kind, wise friends, I have learnt over and over that I have to let go of grasping after the ‘fruits’ I seek. It is no good to keep pushing and pushing and making more and more linear, directed effort to get away from where I am (in dukkha, suffering) and towards my conception of my goal, nirvana – a snuffing out of the fires of greed, hatred and delusion.

“Hatred does not cease by hatred”, says the Buddha in the Dhammapada. How many times have I heard that: Yet still I practise as though allowing myself aversion towards certain ways of being (and doing) will lead me away from hatred, delusion and greed. So a big part of the ten-year laundry load that was set in motion that afternoon at the Rivendell bench has been finding out just how many unhelpful views and approaches I need to come to terms with, purify, launder and may be even let go of.

In Penarroya des Tastatvins, the village in Spain near to our Aranya Retreat Centre site, there is a big open-air washing pool where the women used to (and some still do) gather together to do their laundry communally, side by side, chatting to their friends. I think this is an interesting image to set alongside how we practise together as a spiritual community. There isn’t an option about doing laundry – literally or psycho-spiritually – it just has to be done somehow. How much more agreeable (and sustainable and possible) it is to undertake this in the company of good friends. The ecstasy and laundry are indivisible parts of the spiritual life, as Bhante articulates so clearly in Vision and Transformation. Laundry – the work of purification and transformation – just goes on and on and on. Not in a ghastly “I’m-never-going-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-this-washing-basket” kind of way, but in the way beloved of Zen masters: that doing the laundry is all that there is and, if we approach it in the right way, that the ecstasy and laundry do not have to be separate. As Hakuin says “This very place, the Lotus Paradise.”

So what about me since the ‘ecstasy’ of ordination? Well, I loved being ordained and look back on the retreat as a two-week oasis of light and positivity in a very variable year. Becoming Satyalila, I carried with me all my samskaras (deep-rooted habit patterns). I am a bit of Bag Lady – well, we all are – in the sense that we’re carrying the “bags” of our conditioning, our deep-seated habits. It’s not that I put them down at ordination, but rather that (as I prepared for ordination) I had had the opportunity to empty them out in the company of good friends, have a good look (a sniff, even!) and learn how to tackle laundering the contents. I learnt what kind of laundry I was likely to be doing in future. I also began to learn how to carry my bags of washing gently and with kindness in such a way that they don’t trip me up too much – or that if they do, I know how to pick myself up and tackle whatever has spilled out!

So what was in my two biggest bags of washing? Well. Firstly, I have a very strong tendency to over-invest time and energy in my work (at that time in an Oxfam Bookshop). I tend to work too hard for too many hours and let it matter too much. The result of this is usually that I Get Into A State. I also share the universal longing to love and be loved by someone special and all last year was wrestling with the painful tangle of trying not to fall in love with the wrong person at the wrong time.

Ordination had been a huge landmark on my horizon for almost a decade. In June 2005, it suddenly disappeared behind me like a sign-post on a road and there I was in this new country, the Order, with my bags of washing at my side. I hadn’t gone far along the road after ordination when I got tripped up by the two I’ve just mentioned. Work and tangled heart both got out of hand in a way I wasn’t anticipating and I found myself flat on my face in the mud by the end of October last year. Ten weeks off work with exhaustion were what you might describe in washing terms as the ‘soaking’ period: I lay in bed or pottered about quietly with support and visits (and some washing powder in the form of good advice!) from friends. My old demon of nihilism came visiting and I began to feel the dark, icy waters of depression lap at my ankles. Familiar states. But unlike in the past, they did not stay so long or so tenaciously. Somehow I take them less seriously and know that they will shift and change – and when I forget this, friends remind me. Since New Year I’ve been on a gentle cycle: going back to work, then finding a new, hopefully less demanding, job and letting the pain in my heart settle and fade. Of course I’m not looking forward to the next laundry cycle, whenever it comes. But it will be fine, just as the post-ordination laundry experience was fine. I know my friends in the Sangha are all about me; that we are all sharing our ecstasies and doing our laundry all the time. It’s what I signed up for.

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* “Vision” and “Transformation” are terms used by Sangharakshita to describe the first and subsequent 7 stages of the Buddha’s Noble Eightfold Path in his book Vision and Transformation. It’s interesting to notice that Vision, which one could equate with “ecstasy”, is just the first stage and that the remaining 7 stages are all about Transformation or “laundry”!

Since 22 June 2005, when I was ordained, I have been Satyalila (“she who is true and playful”). I was delighted when I received my name, not least because “lila” is a direct reference to the “play” of the bodhisattva – something which has long fascinated me. Sometimes the spiritual life can seem such a slog (as can work) – but I know it doesn’t have to be like that! In this article I just wanted to say a bit about my work and work as spiritual practice – which I feel quite passionate about.

I manage an Oxfam Bookshop in Bristol. I moved back to Bristol in 2002 after almost 6 years of living and working in Croydon. I lived in a women’s community and worked in a women’s team-based-right-livelihood business, The Wholefood Shop. I was drawn to work in team-based-right-livelihood because it offered a kind of “semi-monastic” way of life – living and working together, focusing on Dharma practice. It was a very strong experience that was simultaneously very beneficial and, at times, difficult. I feel it was a very good “apprenticeship” and am very grateful to the friends who shared the commitment to practise in this way together.

The Bodhisattva Ideal One of the things I love about my current job is they way its purpose is described on my job description: “To make as much money as possible to overcome poverty and suffering”… it immediately made me think of the Bodhisattva Ideal – a very central aspiration for Buddhists. A modern-day paraphrase of the Bodhisattva Ideal is “when the time is ripe and I am ready, I place no limit on what I will do for the sake of all sentient beings”.

Mindfulness and Aesthetic Appreciation On a day to day level there is a definite way in which one can bring mindfulness into one’s work. This can often be difficult when all is hectic and busy, but with a few deep breaths and remembering that one has FEET which are ON THE GROUND, it can be done… Lots has been written about this in all sorts of places (I love Thich Nhat Hahn’s “The Miracle of Mindfulness” and Dogen’s “From the Zen Kitchen to Enlightenment”, to name but two. Oh. And “Crooked Cucumber” (The life of Shunryu Suzuki) and “Street Zen” (The life of Issan Dorsay).

One particular reflection I wanted to note here is the relationship between mindfulness – taking care and enjoying the process of what one is engaged with, not just going for the result – and aesthetic appreciation. We tend of think of aesthetic appreciation being reserved for Official Art and particular things we put in our homes to look at and admire. But actually there’s so much scope for creating beauty and making things aesthetically pleasing in everything we do. I am thinking here about the shop basement (I often think about the shop basement – our stock room and store room and office and….). When I am in a positive frame of mind, I can work in such a way that I create aesthetic pleasure for myself (and hopefully, others) – taking time to stack the endless numbers of empty vegetable boxes so that they sit with all their corners aligned, not higgledy-piggledy and in danger of falling on anyone who might pass by. Just in tiny things, like how books are piled on the desk, whether our various stationery “implements” are stowed in their correct little drawers… all this can make the experience of work more pleasurable.

Of course there are times when all this goes out of the window – mountains of donations of books coming in and just a need to drop everything and pile through sorting them. But even then… there can be an aesthetic delight in wholeheartedly throwing one’s energy into one specific task, completing it and restoring some sense of order from chaos afterwards…

Metta Bhavana Practice The “Metta Bhavana” is a meditation practice which cultivates one’s capacity for loving kindness towards all beings (including oneself). It is traditionally practiced in 5 stages: the first focuses on oneself and cultivating a sense of positivity towards oneself; the second stage extends this out to a good friend (and it’s often easier to cultivate a sense of positivity for a good friend than for oneself, I’ve found!); in the third stage one brings to mind someone who is traditionally referred to as a “neutral” person – ie someone one has come across but does not know in any depth (eg a customer); the fourth stage is reserved for somebody we find difficult or are in conflict with and in the fifth stage one extends one’s sense of loving-kindness to all the people in the practice and then extends it out more widely into the world. [This is an extremely brief taste of this practice, but hopefully sets the scene].

I knew from The Wholefood Shop that customers bring a living, breathing dimension to Metta Bhavana practice. I eventually got to notice, when certain people walked through the door, which stage of the practice I was going to need! In the Oxfam Bookshop, this practice extends, of course, to the team of 57 volunteers who help to run the shop and my lovely Deputy, Liz. One can practise this meditation very much in the day to day, not just sitting on the cushion and interacting with all the various people in the shop is a great way to do this.

Holding to nothing whatever… I manage the shop and have a target to meet. However, I have no control over the stock comes in for us to sell! All the books and music are donated and, whilst we can reject unsaleable goods, we can’t magic-up more of things we really need. I’ve often thought that it’s a little bit like the monks on their alms-rounds, just accepting what is put into their bowls.

In terms of people, all the volunteers are in the shop because of their own generous impulse to help Oxfam, there is no compulsion, no legal “contract”, no obligation beyond their own decision to commit. So I have virtually no “control” over the team that run the shop either!… The majority of the fantastic team at our shop are very reliable and keep us informed if they can’t work or are planning to leave. But it’s not uncommon for people to suddenly disappear without notice, or suddenly announce they are stopping with immediate effect because their circumstances have unexpectedly changed.

I find the image of sailing a ship helpful here – an image that’s often been used for the spiritual life as a whole and as a way to approach meditation practice. We have to have a clear idea of where we want to head, a vision that we can share and work towards. However, if we try to stick rigidly to a pre-planned course, not allowing for changing conditions, prevailing winds etc, we are pretty soon going to come unstuck. So I find myself approaching my job with a lot of faith. OK, the fiction shelves in the stock room are empty… that will change (it’s surprising how often we do get just the books we need); OK, we’ve no volunteers for Saturday afternoon because the whole Saturday afternoon team wants to go to Ashton Court Festival, people will respond; OK, I’d drawn up a list of 6 important things I was going to do today, but we’ve had in 20 boxes of donations and you can’t move in our basement so I’m spending the day book sorting instead…..

Sometimes, to follow the sailing analogy a bit further, there’s a great gust, a good following wind that provides a huge boost, and that’s a practice, too. How to embrace and go with the flow of such things without getting too caught up and intoxicated by them. My big experience of this was in December 2004 when we found “the Original Bridget Jones Diary” and I wrote a press release for the Evening Post which ended up in all the national papers and on TV, as well as being syndicated around the world by Reuters and the BBC World Service! Rather unexpectedly, I discovered that I rather enjoyed being interviewed on radio and TV – especially being able to genuinely enthuse about something I found interesting and fun. I felt the nagging fear of “getting big headed” but at the same time had lots of encouragement to go for it, because the publicity was so good for Oxfam. The result was very positive for Oxfam – £30,000 profit generated from sales of the printed diary, plus £100,000s worth of publicity through whole page stories in the national press. For me, aside from the fun of it all, I had the strong lesson of being the centre of attention for a couple of weeks and then, after Christmas, realising that it’d all become “old news”… not exactly the worldly winds of fame and infamy, but a teaching all the same!

So much more I could say, but it will have to wait for another time. I just want to end with a quote from Dhardo Rimpoche which I carry in my heart, almost as a mantra…

“If you work hard in the right way, the effect will spread like light”