Satyalila was reading in bed at 11.30 last night when she heard footsteps on the stairs. Usually such noises terminate in a jangle of keys at Paul’s door (on the next landing down) but this time they didn’t… The steps continued up to the metre-square landing outside Satyalila’s door and heavy breathing could be heard, followed by the sound of someone crashing about. They scrabbled at the door and appeared to be trying to get in… After a few moments’ confused panic Satyalila phoned the police who responded immediately, treating the incident as an “attempted burglary in progress”. The Nice Lady on the phone told Satyalila to keep breathing and carried on chatting for a few minutes until the Police Unit arrived. They arrested a man who was so drunk he couldn’t even give his name and a Nice Police Man came to say “hello” to Satyalila afterwards and tell her what had happened. Next morning the police finger-print expert rang and asked if he could come and take prints from the door. When he came later he was looking at his notes about the incident and said there’d actually been THREE Police Units which had responded to the call, including a Dog Handler and the Fire Arms Unit! Satyalila concluded that the flip-side of the flip-side of city-centre dwelling was that there were plenty of Nice Police Men about should things like this happen. John Flack, friend of Satyalila commented, “Goodness – five star service indeed! You’ll be having James Bond round next accompanied by the Home Secretary!”.